Muggle Relations
by Two Deranged Penguins
Summary: Good Lord we've updated! Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve MuggleWizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings WARNING, SLASH PAIRINGS ALSO
1. We're Going To Ibiza!

Muggle Relations  
  
Authors: The dynamic insane duo of the ever zany Evil Story Penguins and the always psychotic Starz n Moonz. Round of applause please. Thankyou, thankyou, we're here all week! (Gives all who applauds chocolates! Hint hint!)  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
Chapter 1 - We're Going To Ibiza!  
  
Dumbledore rose from his seat at the Head Table and addressed the Great Sea Of Heads.  
  
"As you all know, the seventh years have been studying a compulsory class of Muggle Studies known as Muggle Relations." Receives many tired groans from the seventh years. "Yes, yes, seventh years, we get the picture. However, your struggles and complaints have not been in vain. As an end-of- year celebration for the subject, we have organised a little trip for you, kind of an extended 'excursion' for you all to put to good use the skills that you have learnt this year." This time he had their full and undivided attention.  
  
"Where are we going?" asked the now interested Draco Malfoy.  
  
"You will be going to a little tropical island called Ibiza."  
  
He received high fives all round from the muggle borns. The wizard borns looked on curiously, all except Draco who knew the place rather well.  
  
BOO-YEAH!!!!!!! He thought, whilst keeping his features controlled and impassive.  
  
On the other side of the Hall, Dean and Seamus were doing a victory dance around the whole of Gryffindor table whilst Hermione snorted in disgust.  
  
"Hey 'Mione? What's this Bitza place?" Ron asked in a whisper  
  
"It's Ibiza, Ron. Shut up and listen to Dumbledore." Hermione angrily whispered back.  
  
"There will be four teachers attending this trip." Seamus and Dean immediately stopped their victory dance and looked up at the Head Table in undisguised horror. "Myself, Professor McGonagall, Professor Lupin and of course our dear Professor Snape will be attending." At this the entire muggle-born population of Hogwarts burst into barely restrained laughter, imaging Snape at Ibiza.  
  
Harry had fallen off his seat and was doubled up in laughter. A similar situation had arisen on the other side of the hall with Draco also in the same predicament.  
  
Blaise was the first Wizard born to ask, "What's so funny about Ibiza?"  
  
Draco wipping tears from his eyes answered, "It's a Fuck-Island."  
  
Blaise's eyes lit up in wonder, "A Fuck-Island. When do we leave?" the second part he yelled to Dumbledore.  
  
"Tomorrow morning." He replied.  
  
"YES!!!!!!!!" Shouted a chorus of seventh years, who were ALL proceeding in victory dances of their own.  
  
"Now. Seventh Years. I suggest you hop of to your dormitories and start packing!" With this announced, there was a cloud of dust remaining in the Great Hall and echoing singing and dancing coming from the surrounding corridors as the Seventh Years raced to their dormitories, the Gryffindors screaming at the top of their lungs, the song "We're going to Ibiza" by the Vengaboys. All except Hermione, who was debating what books to take, and the ever clueless Ron.  
  
Dumbledore piped up, "Uh, Miss Granger. I must warn you that NO books are permitted on this excursion, of any kind."  
  
"WHAT!! NOW WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!" and she stormed out, still easily audible in the surrounding corridors.  
  
Dumbledore grinned amazingly at the mayhem he had just caused.  
  
"Uhh. Professor?" Ginny piped up from the remaining Gryffindors. "Who will be taking care of Hogwarts?" With fears of the Evil Professor Umbridge returning.  
  
"That, Dear Ginny, would be Professor Binns." The professor in question choked on the remaining air in his ghostly 'lungs'.  
  
"PARDON?" Obviously this was the first he'd heard of it.  
  
"I do believe you will be quite capable at handling the school for a couple of days while we're gone." Dumbledore said matter-of-factly. Snape had currently doubled over in laughter, scaring the shit out of the remaining students.  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor Common Room  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-  
  
Perfectly lined up along the wall next to the entrance hole, were the seventh year trunks packed, ready and waiting! Harry was sitting on his trunk, making sure no one stole his first place at the door. In fact, that night, Harry slept next to his trunk to ensure his placing.  
  
Hermione also stayed the night in the Common Room. Except she stared darkly into the fireplace and hexed anyone speaking above telepathy volume. Late before midnight, Lav and Pav walked past Hermione on their way up to the dorms. "You know Hermione, you're a sex starved freak. Like, you want to take BOOKS to Ibiza!! Hello!!!!"  
  
Slowly, Hermione turned her glare from the fireplace to the two girls in question. Seeing the glare that would beat a Malfoy Glare, combined with the superglare of Snape, hands down, both girls bolted for their lives.  
  
"They're right you know 'Mione." Said Harry with one eye open. Catching the look she shot at him, he quickly recovered with, "I mean about the books! Not about anything else they said (cough)! Lighten up. Have a little fun!" Phew, that was waaaay too close! I swear I was almost castrated.  
  
Hermione's glare returned to the fireplace. Ron finally came down with his trunk (banging loudly on every stair) and moved towards Harry.  
  
Upon noticing that his spot was in jeopardy, Harry pounced on him, "End of the line Mate! This is MY spot and NOBODY is getting it! MY PRECIOUS!"  
  
"Eeepp!" squeaked Ron and he bolted to the end of the line.  
  
"So I take it you're not coming to bed then."  
  
"Does it look like it?" Harry snapped at him.  
  
"No, no it doesn't. What about you 'Mione?"  
  
"Grrrrr!!!!" Ron proceeded to bolt upstairs in fear.  
  
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
Slytherin Dungeons  
  
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*  
  
PARTAY!!!!!  
  
Draco was one happy little camper, Blaise still hadn't finished his victory dance, Pansy and Millicent had drunk too much and had passed out, in a compromising position, even for a Slytherin. We all know that Crabbe and Goyle had moved to Durmstrang.  
  
Thank god for that! Thought Draco. That would not have been pleasant seeing them two fuck like rabbits!! Shudders uncontrollably rippled through his body. Well, must be off to bed; gonna need ALL of my energy and stamina for the coming week! 


	2. Welcome To Ibiza!

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
Chapter 2 - Welcome to Ibiza  
  
Warning: Scary imagery. Proceed with caution. EXTREME Caution. Even we refuse to reread this chapter.  
  
The following morning proceeded with a very organised Gryffindor group (bar the party pooper Hermione, and ever clueless Ron). Draco Malfoy was also very organised and was head of the Slytherin Line Up. Draco was closely followed by Blaise Zabini who had done some thorough research into the place overnight. You don't want to know what was in his trunk!! Or 'up' in his pants, for that matter!  
  
Harry knew though, he went up to Blaise, "You know, you might want to take that tent pole down. I heard that a man passes out after having a day long erection. Better be careful, it's quite a long flight." Blaise blanched at this new development, whilst Draco proceeded to piss himself laughing and high-fived Harry. The two of them looked at each other strangely, blushed and walked off in opposite directions, leaving Blaise to wonder what had just happened, and that if Hell had just frozen over and he'd missed it. He then proceeded to look for Snape in a Tutu. That worked. He suppressed his moan of delight as imagined being able to look up Snape's skirt!  
  
Speaking of the greasy haired bat, in bounced the man, somewhat.um.happy? I'm going to Ibiza, I'm going to Ibiza. People are looking at me happy! Shit! He resumed his dark demeanor.  
  
Harry looked at his dreaded Potions Master, Why's he so happy? Oh, that's right, we're going to Ibiza and people don't know him there. He might get laid! FUCK! Disgusting images! Disgusting Images! Brain SHUT DOWN! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! Warning: Danger, Danger, Danger Harry Potter! Draco in his boxers, Draco in his boxers. Pardon? Harry looked over at Draco and blushed his usual crimson. When did this start?? *DUH! The dreams you've had over the past two years dumbass!* Who asked you?!?!? *You did.* Oh shut up! (A/N: Anyone remember the mental arguments?).  
  
"Gather round, seventh years!" Summoned Professor McGonagall. "Professor Dumbledore is waiting for you all on the Quidditch pitch to portkey us all to Heathrow Airport."  
  
First to the Quidditch pitch was Harry and Draco with not a millisecond between them. A close second was another draw between Dean, Seamus and Blaise. Hermione lagged behind Professor McGonagall, still muttering at the unfairness of not being able to take books.  
  
McGonagall looked sternly at her, "Get over it Hermione!" and she walked off to catch the others up.  
  
Once Hermione had made it to the Quidditch pitch, everybody transported to the airport in pairs. Coincidentally, Harry and Draco were paired together. When they arrived at the terminal, they landed on the ground, tangled up in each other. "Morning Potter!"  
  
"Aahh!" screamed Harry and he quickly scrambled away, only because of his growing arousal. After-all, they were in public!  
  
"Jeez Potter, I need my hearing!!! You bloody girl!" Draco shook his head, in the vain attempt to retain some hearing.  
  
"Yeah well.um.sorry." Harry quickly got to his feet and made his way over to the growing number of seventh year students, praying to God that no one had seen his brief interlude with the Slytherin Prince.  
  
They checked in their luggage and made their way to the departure lounge. Harry perked up as he came to sit between Seamus and Dean.  
  
"So Harry. What are you going to do when you get to Ibiza?"  
  
"Don't know, Seamus. Bout you?" The three grinned at each other very widely!!!  
  
"Girl, Guy or both?" Piped up Dean.  
  
"Cross that bridge when I get to it I reckon Dean!" And the three laughed. Meanwhile, still across the lounge, Draco looked on jealously. What do they think they're doing? Flirting with my soon-to-be property? Grrrr! I'm gonna rip their balls off and then.  
  
"This is for all passengers boarding British Airways Flight 69 to Madrid. Boarding has now commenced, could all passengers have their boarding passes ready and make their way to Gate 22. Thankyou."  
  
"Come on Seventh Years. That's us!! This way please!" McGonagall pointed the students in the right direction. "Oh, Harry, can you please retrieve Miss Granger. And Draco Mr Zabini is trying to molest that flight attendant. Drag him over here please." Both boys went their way to retrieve their respected assignments.  
  
"Blaise!! Guess what.there's a blonde flight attendant on the plane. If you're quick, you might still catch her!!!" His answer was a black blur bolting past him, and through various other passengers and Seventh Years.  
  
"Come on Hermione. I heard that there's gonna be books on the plane."  
  
"REALLY! Oh, I might be able to do my Charms homework!"  
  
"But Herm, aren't the NEWTS over? Okay. Don't argue. At least she's on the plane." Harry mumbled.  
  
"This is a final call for passengers flying on British Airways Flight 69 to Madrid. The aircraft is in it's final stage of boarding. Could Mr Harry Potter and Mr Draco Malfoy immediately make their way to Gate 22. This is the final call. Thankyou."  
  
"Shite!!!!!!!!! Move it Malfoy!"  
  
"Ladies first."  
  
"Yeah, and arseholes last!"  
  
"Bitch!" Malfoy stuck his finger up at him.  
  
"Wait a minute, shouldn't ferrets be in the cargo hold?"  
  
"Fuck you four-eyes!"  
  
"Careful what you wish for. We're going to Ibiza remember."  
  
"Oh I'm sorry boys, but it seems that the economy section is full, and unfortunately so is Business Class. I'll have to ask the captain if you would be allowed to travel in first class, please excuse me for a moment." The flight attendant disappeared upstairs.  
  
"First Class?" Harry asked. He turned to Malfoy with a HUGE grin on his face.  
  
"Whoa. Scary. Don't do that Potter. But still. SCORE!!!!!!"  
  
The flight attendant returned. "The captain isn't too happy about the idea, but he said so long as you two boys behave yourselves, it should be fine. Right this way please."  
  
They followed her to the upstairs section of first class and nearly died. They were greeted by huge arm chairs for seats with their own TV's, phones, tables.  
  
Malfoy dived forward, "I get window seat!"  
  
"Piss off you Albino Rat!" They scrambled for the window seat and both ended up sitting in it squished. The flight attendant looked at them sternly.  
  
"Get off me Potter! I called window seat!"  
  
Harry reluctantly pried himself from Draco's lap, but not before wriggling around in the seat he had on him.  
  
"Ahem!" called the flight attendant. "Take your seat's now boys and put your seat belts on!" she growled sternly before taking up her position at the head of the cabin.  
  
"So, Potter. What happens now?"  
  
"You haven't been on a Plane before?"  
  
"No, dumbass. Please, do remember my heritage. As if any Malfoy would willingly stoop to this level!"  
  
"Well, oh deprived one. We're going to take off in a minute."  
  
"Explain."  
  
"The Plane will run along the runway, gather speed and eventually take off into the air."  
  
"Like a broom?"  
  
"Higher up. Couple of thousands of feet in the air. And it won't be as smooth either."  
  
"Bloody muggles."  
  
The plane taxied to the runway and the flight attendant displayed the safety procedures, scaring Draco shitless!  
  
"You mean this thing could crash?" Draco was practically clinging Harry's arm.  
  
"It's happened in the past, but I'm sure that it wont happen to us, it's VERY rare that something goes wrong." Harry patted Draco cautiously on the head.  
  
"HEY! Watch the hair!" Draco smacked him upside.  
  
"Hey easy!"  
  
"DON'T touch the hair! EVER!"  
  
The plane had reached the top of the runway and before Malfoy could continue in his lecturing of Harry Potter on the Matters Of Malfoy's Hair Care, he launched himself into Harry as the pilot put the peddle to the metal, so to speak. The engines roared and Malfoy found himself wrapped in Harry's arms as they were only travelling down the runway at 600 kilometres an hour.  
  
Draco also found the ascent rather nauseating as he felt his brain had squashed to the back of his head. Slowly the sensation abated, and he realised his stomach was still back in the lounge.  
  
"Ok, Potter. Not feeling well now. . . ." Malfoy moaned.  
  
"Ewww!! Don't puke on me!!! The airsick bags are right in front of you! Use those! NO! NOT MY. grrr. Thanks Malfoy."  
  
"Shut up Potter. Stop moaning. Bit of magic and it's gone." Draco pulled out his wand.  
  
"Ahhh. HELLO MALFOY!!! We're in a muggle plane! Put the bloody wand away!!!" Harry whispered harshly.  
  
"Too late!"  
  
Harry looked around him, checking that no one had saw Malfoy using his wand. He sighed in relief as everyone around them was emersed in a book or the newspaper or something else rather boring.  
  
It wasn't until the flight attendant brought their in-flight snacks that the two boys noticed that they were still locked in each other's arms.  
  
She looked down at them with a raised eyebrow. "Umm. . .boys. . .your snacks?"  
  
"Oh, right, thankyou." Said Harry as they removed themselves from each other, clearly unaware of their previous position.  
  
"Your stomach settled down yet?"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
An hour and forty-six minutes later, they had arrived in Madrid Airport, where Draco experienced the delights of 'Landing'!  
  
"Harry! Where have you been??? We thought that you had missed the plane!" cried Hermione as she found them in the Arrivals lounge.  
  
"Draco and I got first class seats."  
  
"Draco?"  
  
"Yeah, you know, Draco Malfoy. Slytherin Prefect, also known as the Slytherin Prince, Sex God."  
  
"I know WHO he is, but why did you call him Draco?"  
  
"It's his name."  
  
"But since when have YOU used it?"  
  
"Hey Harry!!! Where you been?" Ron turned up too late as always in the conversation.  
  
"Oh, just a little place called First Class."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"The really really really nice part of the plane."  
  
"Yeah, with the ever love-to-hateable Malfoy." Hermione chipped in.  
  
"BUGGER! Bet you that was hell!"  
  
"Yep. Especially when he puked on me! That was interesting."  
  
"Lovely. Thankyou for sharing that Harry." Hermione looked a little green.  
  
"Considering that he puked right in my . . ."  
  
Harry was interrupted as Professor McGonagall called all of the Seventh Years to her. "Now we must all make our way to Terminal 2, which is the Domestic Terminal so that we can transfer planes to Ibiza."  
  
Dean and Seamus were waiting VERY patiently, my arse they were! They were gone in two seconds flat and claimed the two closest seats to the door.  
  
Harry could hear Draco complaining behind him. "You complaining again Dray?"  
  
"I have to go through all of that AGAIN!?!?!?!?"  
  
"So long as you don't throw up all over me this time!"  
  
"Didn't I tell you to shut up about that Harry!?"  
  
"Yep, but you know I love to tease you!"  
  
Harry and Draco had walked off towards the Departure Gate with Harry's arm around his shoulders. Hermione and Ron just looked at them as if Hell had been replaced with Antarctica.  
  
Once on the plane, that was kinda crammed with other horny English people, not that any of them put together could rival that of Blaise Zabini. And there were a lot of blonde flight attendants showing the repercussions of his condition.  
  
Then there was our dear Potions Master, Sevie Snape, sitting at the back of the plane, reading his latest "Potions Book", but WHAT was he actually reading? These are the questions we ask ourselves. . . . Cos he was sure getting a strange 'reaction' to a Potions book.  
  
All the seventh years were chattering amicably to each other, except for two Gryffindors. Herm had found a book.  
  
Ron wasn't happy. Now who was he going to ask when he had a question? 'Stuff it', he thought, as he stuck his head through the two chairs in front to speak to Dean and Seamus.  
  
Bad choice.  
  
"Hey Ronnikins!! What's 'up'?" The two Gryffindor's proceeded to piss themselves laughing.  
  
The Weasley twins had decided to impart their knowledge to the remaining Gryffindors when leaving, of their favourite little brother's favourite little nickname.  
  
"Hey." Ron growled. "Herm found a book."  
  
"Ooohhh. You poor lad. Evidently, 'Nothing's' up then. . ." They chuckled as silently as they could (not very, even Snape looked up and scowled at the interruption).  
  
"What? What are you talking about?" Said Ron, the ever STUPID Gryffindor.  
  
Everyone on the plane pissed themselves at this question.  
  
Even Snape, which scared many locals.  
  
As they neared the airport, a tall sexy blond flight attendant came and spoke to Dumbledore. "Do you think that you could possibly wake up those two boys asleep over there. They really need to be awake for the descent."  
  
"Awww, but they look so peaceful! But if you insist." Dumbledore rose from his chair, but it was a bit difficult as the space between the seats was rather limited, unlike in the Great Hall. Therefore, stumbling to the appointed seats, and after falling over many a student, he final reached his destination.  
  
There was Harry and Draco, cuddled up together, fast asleep. They looked perfect snuggled up in the seats. Harry had his arms protectively wrapped around Draco as Draco had his head buried in Harry's chest.  
  
Dumbledore nudged Harry, "Harry, time to wake up now, we're almost there."  
  
"Huh, wha? No, Ron, five more minutes! Hermione can wait a bit longer, surely!"  
  
Snape's turn: "POTTER! WAKE YOUR LAZY ARSE UP!"  
  
That did it! Harry jumped sky high! Um. . .although he was already there. In the process he startled Draco.  
  
"What the fuck? I was having a good dream! You, and you, and you were there!" He first pointed to Harry, then to Dumbledore and then lastly to Snape, "And you were the wicked witch!" Then he actually woke up and realised that it was Snape he was talking too. "I mean, wicked Wizard (cough)."  
  
Snape just glared at Malfoy, whilst Draco just shrunk back down into Harry's chest, before realising what he was doing. The two looked at each other and the colour of their skin could beat the trademark Weasley hair hands down. So basically they were glowing crimson, just to clarify any confusion.  
  
However, they do not move apart, just stared into each other's eyes.  
  
Snape just walked off in disbelief. Bloody Ibiza! What's it doing to the world? Where's my book gone!?!? Snape stared in shock as he noticed that his beloved book was missing!  
  
"WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE SHITS STOLE MY BOOK?????????????" He roared, absolutely PISSED!!!!! He looked around at the dead silent plane, until he heard Blaise.  
  
"WOAH! Now that just can't be possible!"  
  
Snape flew over to them, literally. "I assure you Mr Zabini, that position is entirely possible. Now could you kindly GIVE ME BACK MY BOOK YOU LITTLE THIEVES!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Your book?" Asked Seamus and Dean in unison. They all but ditched the book at him, "I was wondering why that was sticky! Ewwww, Snape, that's not right!"  
  
"Entirely possible you say. . . Care to demonstrate?" Blaise was answered with a whack upside the head, and Snape just stormed off, too disgusted to say anything more.  
  
"The captain has switched on the 'Seatbelt Sign' as we are approaching Ibiza. Could all passengers please immediately return to their separate! seats," the flight attendant looked directly at Harry and Draco, who squirmed under her gaze, "and securely fasten your own," another glare, "seatbelts. Thankyou for flying with us today, we all hope that you 'enjoy' your stay in Ibiza. Have fun!" She switched off the intercom and disappeared out of sight. 


	3. Hotel 69

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
FAITHFULL REVIEWERS!!!!! Thankyou all so VERY much!!!  
  
Jeannie81: Thankyou and do not worry, we have Snape all planned out. Cailin Malafe: Hehehe, disgusting the thought is, we are going to be writing Snape's little escapade(s)! Princess Bratty: Believe us, so did we. And I must say that 3.30 in the morning is a fantastic time of the day!!! A favourite to both of us!!! Hope u like the next instalment. Justxme: Worry not!! More is written! Makotochi: I was deeply disturbed to find that you were not a fan of slash, (that's what we took it to mean, anyway.) And please take our word that Bicardi's were the only thing available to us at the time. Personally Cruisers are muchly preferred. Although Evil Story Penguins doesn't mind Baileys or Scotch. Starz n Moonz however believe that Cruisers are a separate food group, and is not to be denied at all costs. Gaby: Done and done. Hope you like this one! Neevs: not to worry. We will comply, however it may not be for a little while. That pairing isn't till near the end. Craw/Brad: again we were deeply disturbed to find that you at first thought this may not be slash. WE APOLOGISE PROFUSELY FOR GIVING YOU THIS IMPRESSION. We are relieved to find that you continued to read this humble little fic of ours. Ranma Hiqurashi: Glad you like. Here's more.  
  
And NOW. ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
  
Chapter 3 - Hotel 69  
  
WARNING: SLASHY GOODNESS FOUND HERE! Don't like it, don't read it! YOU HAVE  
BEEN WARNED!!!!!  
  
Everyone collected their baggage from the bus and received their key to their respective rooms.  
  
Much to Harry's dismay, Draco had completely disappeared!  
  
Where did he get too? He took his room key and took to the elevator. Okay, level 10, hmmm, top floor! Hope I get a good view from the window! Room 1032. What the?  
  
"Ahhhh!!! Harry, what are you doing?"  
  
"Uhhh, this is my room. Says it here on the key. Look, Harry Potter, Room 1032."  
  
"But that can't be right! My room's 1032! It's got my name on the key!"  
  
"Hmm, oh well, have to share then! Oh and Dray, I'm NOT sleeping on the floor!"  
  
Draco registered that there was only one King Size bed, and Harry had already claimed the middle, spread eagled.  
  
"Oh I don't think so Potter! Move over!" Draco launched himself onto the bed, but Harry was a little bit TOO slow to move out of the way (Authors piss themselves laughing. "Bullshit Harry!" Harry turned crimson, as always!).  
  
Draco ended up lying half on top of Harry, who wasn't exactly complaining.  
  
"So Potter. What's first on the agenda?"  
  
"Kiss me!"  
  
"Done!" Draco leaned in and locked his lips with Harry's as they began to kiss slowly. Harry licked Draco's bottom lip, asking entrance. Permission granted! They engaged in a Battle Of The Tongues, each trying to win dominance over the other.  
  
Hands weren't stationary either. As Draco quickly pulled Harry's shirt out and started running his perfectly skilled hands over Harry's torso. He suddenly felt cold as he realised that Harry had removed his shirt all together.  
  
How the hell did he do that? Draco was suddenly pulled a little closer to Harry as Harry flipped him over and straddled him.  
  
"Someone's done this before!" Draco exclaimed.  
  
"And what, you haven't?" Harry had started sucking on Draco's neck. Draco, getting all flustered, wasn't about to be taken as a submissive lay. He summoned up all of his energy and grabbed Harry by the shoulders and flipped him onto his back.  
  
"I wouldn't say that Harry!" Draco slowly and teasingly undid the buttons on Harry's shirt, taking time to taste every inch of the newly exposed skin.  
  
Draco gasped as he was suddenly grasped by his arse, Harry's hands inside his pants. When Draco had fully removed Harry's shirt, exposing his exquisitely tanned skin, Draco found his nipple ring.  
  
"Interesting!" Draco commented as started playing with it between his fingers.  
  
"Drunk. . . Dare. . ." Harry panted as Draco swiped his tongue over it.  
  
Draco gasped again as he suddenly felt Harry buck his hips and ground his rock hard erection into Draco's. Moaning now, Draco and Harry couldn't wait any longer and practically ripped off the rest of their clothes.  
  
Draco teased Harry's inner thigh, heading towards his arse. Harry, not stupid, just flipped Draco back on his own back.  
  
"Nuh Uh! Me first!" Harry kissed Draco passionately and before Draco could argue about his position, Harry was already preparing Draco, all Draco could do was moan in pleasure.  
  
Oh Fuck it!  
  
Draco gave in as Harry added a couple of fingers and found his prostate gland, making him scream in astonishment. And they call me the Sex God!  
  
Harry removed his fingers from Draco and reached for his wand, earned a Malfoy Glare, but that changed when he muttered a lubrication spell and slipped inside of Draco.  
  
They both moaned in unison as Harry set up a pace. They began slowly and sweetly, letting Draco get used to him moving inside his tight arse. However, as Draco got used to Harry's size, not diss-similar to his own, he took command and thrust himself up to meet Harry.  
  
Fine with me Drake!  
  
Harry immediately got faster and harder, Draco writhing underneath him. Harry reached forward and began to pump Draco in time to his thrusts. Before long, Harry saw stars in front of his eyes as he peaked, screaming Draco's name as he spilled inside of him. Once he felt Harry's seed fill him, Draco followed Harry, coming all over his hand and stomach.  
  
Harry, still in Draco, fell on top of him, panting harder than after any Quidditch Match. He looked at Draco and moved up to kiss him. As he kissed him, he removed himself from Draco.  
  
The kiss got more and more passionate, and Draco took the opportunity to get back on top.  
  
"My turn!" he growled.  
  
Harry nodded and mumbled incoherently, instantly hard again as he thought about Draco filling him deeply.  
  
Well, it was certainly unexpected when he felt Draco's tongue swipe the pre- come off the tip of his dick. Harry shuddered immensely as Draco slid his tongue along the underside of his shaft. Draco fully took Harry into his mouth and sucked him hard.  
  
Harry didn't take long and shot his load into the back of Draco's throat, crying out in ecstasy. Draco swallowed all that Harry could give him.  
  
"Shit Dray! Where'd you learn to do that?!"  
  
"Places."  
  
Draco slid two of his fingers inside Harry's mouth and Harry sucked on them. Draco removed his fingers and deftly slid them in Harry.  
  
Harry let a low, deep moan erupt from his chest as Dray stretched him and kept hitting his prostate.  
  
"Draco. . . inside me. . . now!" Harry begged.  
  
Draco couldn't ignore his own throbbing erection, mumbled the same lubrication spell and quickly entered Harry.  
  
They set a similar rhythm to before, and Draco wrapped his hand around Harry's once again erect cock and pumped in time to his thrusts. They screamed louder and louder as their movements became more and more intense.  
  
They cried out their orgasms as they came simultaneously.  
  
"Oh, God Harry!" moaned Draco as he slipped out of him and collapsed on the bed next to him.  
  
"That was good! Dray, that was really good!"  
  
"Oh yeah!"  
  
They pulled each other in for a slow and sweet kiss before drifting off to sleep in each other's arms.  
  
****************  
  
We would like to start a new tradition with this chapter now being posted.  
  
REVIEW PEOPLE!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(okay so its an old tradition from a lot of other fics, but we forgot last round.)  
  
We humbly request that we please receive no fewer than TEN REVIEWS PEOPLE OR NO CHAPTER!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
Thankyou!  
  
Two Deranged Penguins. 


	4. Day One!

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
THE REVIEWS!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Evil Story Penguins and I are THOUROUGHLY OVERJOYED that you all met your quota! We were so happy that we shed many tears of pride! Our egos are now officially record-breakingly HUGE!!!!!! Thanx to all of you that Reviewed, you've been a great inspiration to us both and our friends in the White Coats are loving you all too, because they've been able to prescribe some stronger lil white pills, but I do have to say, that black one that they gave me was veeeeeeeeerrrryyyyyy yummy! I saw lots of everything! Stars with pink and purple polka dots were my favourite!  
  
Anyways, enough blabbering on about my cool and exciting habits, you are all waiting for...........................  
  
THE ANSWERS!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Kretchkny: Your obligation will now be required to review this chapter. However, you will see in the future that such activities have already been recorded! M M M MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  
  
cutiepie 73: Thankyou kindly! We were rather impressed that we wrote such good slash there, but with our experience and talent, I guess it just comes naturally! ;-) And we do appreciate multiple reviews, even if you have to sign anonymous! - It's a gooooooooood trick!!! Eh eh!! idril.tinuviel: Thankyou, our Brilliance is loving you right now! Craw/Brad: Why spankyou, Brad, spankyou very much. zen kitten: THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU! Oh, we Oh, we love you, and you can review ANY TIME you want!!!!!  
  
Snake-boi: MUCH, MUCH more is to come (Innuendo also intended!) Shania Maxwell: We are going! More is on its way! Thea-Dominique: *Blushes DEEPLY and grins sweetly* Thankwoo! SilverDreams04: We LOVE smut too! All six of us! We have worked it out, we've both got three personalities each, and they just keep on coming! It's like, WOW, we've got sooooooooo many friends, but we mainly see them at Pill Time! You keep rockin too babe! Thou hath asked for more, and thou shall receive that. Ranma Hiqurashi: Soon enough for ya? justxme: We have written more for you, but you are very lucky that our friends in the White Coats have given Evil Story Penguins her sedatives, coz otherwise, you'd have had your head smacked against a brick wall! And she'd be saying, "It says (smash) SLASH (smash) in the (smash) warnings! (smash) It also (smash) says that IF (smash) you DON'T (smash) LIKE IT, (smash) DON'T (smash) read it (smash smash)!!" I do have to say that you were warned, and you read it at your own discretion. And there will be more of such context, so please, if you don't like it, skip it! Fallen Angel: And more you shall have! Harry Pothead1: Yes, we do aim to cause all kinds of interesting bodily functions to occur, lots of FUN!!!!! We have updated and want to hear of your next lot of interesting bodily functions! Eh eh!  
  
ON WITH THE CHAPTER, I SAY!!!  
  
THEN OFF YOU ALL GO!!!  
  
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU ALL WAITING FOR???  
  
STOP READING THESE ABSOLUTELY INCONVENIENTLY IRRITATING COMMENTS AND READ THE CHAPTER!!!  
  
SERIOUSLY! SCRAM AND READ!!!  
  
WE LOVE TO BE EVIL!!! MWAHAHAHAHAH!!!  
  
Chapter 4 - Day One!  
  
SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAY AGAIN, SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't like it, don't read it, skip that part!!!! Simple! If you don't like it and you do read it, then it is your own fault! So there!!  
  
***************SLASH BEGINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!****************  
  
Harry awoke in Draco's embrace, the blond still fast asleep. He began planting butterfly kisses all over Draco's face.  
  
"Mmm, morning love!" murmured Draco.  
  
"Morning Mr Malfoy." Harry smiled as he continued down Draco's chest.  
  
Draco moaned. "Aren't we frisky this morning?"  
  
"With you, always!"  
  
"Okay, I can live with that, but. . . Baby, I want a shower!"  
  
Harry grinned mischievously, "I can accommodate that!" and he scooped Draco up in his arms and carried him into the en suite bathroom.  
  
Harry turned the taps on, once he had let Draco stand of course, and they stepped in to the shower. They slowly began to wash the other's skin. Harry moved up Draco's back and towards his hair.  
  
"NOT THE HAIR! Harry, yes I love you touching me, but only I wash my hair! Okay?"  
  
"Whatever you say love." Harry mumbled into his shoulder. "Wanna do mine for me?"  
  
Draco looked like he had just won the lottery. Taking one of the complimentary shampoos he filled his hand and drew Harry in for another kiss, rubbing his hands through Harry's hair. Harry moaned as he left his hands to rest on the other boy's hips, often gripping at particularly tense moments, while Draco slowly massaged his head, moaning into his mouth.  
  
Always the frisky Gryffindor, Harry yanked his mind away from the pure bliss he was experiencing at the hands of one Draco Malfoy, and decided to let him know the act was appreciated as he backed the blonde man into one of the walls and started to grind into him. The cold tiles coupled with the steamy hot water and the even hotter Boy Who Lived set Draco moaning into the kiss; Harry grinned.  
  
Things got even steamier as Harry acted like a man with a purpose and reduced Draco to a quietly moaning mess, as he now clung on to Harry for dear life when his legs gave up on him, meaning all the support he had was Harry's hold on him against the wall. Soon shouting was joined in the shower, except muffled. The two students took no notice as they continued their activities.  
  
With a low growl, Harry erupted between their stomachs, following soon after was the equally low moan as Draco bit down on Harry's shoulder, also releasing between them. Panting heavily, they stood under the shower as the stars slowly faded away.  
  
*****************END SLASH!!!!!!**********************  
  
Another loud shout was given out, accompanied by a scream, though what was called was not discernable. Harry picked his head up from Draco's shoulder and looked curiously about.  
  
"Hero. We're in Ibiza." Draco muffled into Harry's shoulder, lapping at the recent bite mark that marred Harry's perfect bronze torso. "We're not the only ones getting any."  
  
"Forgot where I was for a minute." Harry explained, giving half a laugh.  
  
"Well. Come on wonder boy. We'd better go down stairs before people start wondering."  
  
"Do we have to?" Harry whined.  
  
"Do you want people to find us?"  
  
"Could be interesting. And then I won't have to tell people. They'll already know."  
  
"Pansy."  
  
"Eeep. Ron and Hermione." Harry shuddered.  
  
"Ooohhh. They'd shred you alive."  
  
"True. That they would."  
  
They slowly dragged themselves out of the warmth of the shower and dried each other off, then reluctantly clothed themselves ready for the world of Ibiza.  
  
Draco dressed in a very tight fitting pair of jeans with a white silky shirt with only two buttons done up. After drying his hair, he heeded Harry's wishes and left the gel in his bags, allowing his hair to flow freely down to his shoulders, framing his face.  
  
As for Harry's hair, well, it never changes.  
  
(AN: Be WARNED!!!!!!!!!!!! And VERY afraid. We've moved onto Cruisers)  
  
When Harry stepped out in his own outfit, Draco cringed. "No Fucking way in hell. Tell me. Did Hermione buy that for you?"  
  
"Yeah. Why?"  
  
"No. No no no no no." He literally dragged Harry by the 'shirt' (more like an abominable atrocity to the world of fashion) and proceeded to rip said 'shirt' from Harry's person, and continued to shred It and disposed of it in the bin.  
  
"Well, what am I going to wear?"  
  
"You could go like that if you want. . ."  
  
"Hmm, but I'd get every guy and girl on this island trying to get their hands on me!"  
  
"They wont if they know what's good for them." Draco said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Never thought you to be possessive." Harry went and cuddled the cute grumpy Slytherin.  
  
"Only child." Draco stated in his own defence. "Now. What clothes did you bring?"  
  
Harry led Draco over to his bags and drew all the contents out onto their bed. Draco immediately started to rift through all the 'Clothes'. He took each item one at a time and threw them in the bin with such comments as:  
  
"Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, Hermione, RON??????, Mrs Weasley, Hermione, Hermione. . . . . Don't. Want. To. Know."  
  
"Dursley's." Harry piped up.  
  
"Oh. We're going shopping." Draco took the rest of the clothes and dumped everything in the bin. Taking his wand out he cast an incendio spell and it all turned to ashes. "Come on. Shopping time!"  
  
Harry paled, *God no.* as he was dragged out the room still shirtless. He was thrown into lift and Draco hit the button. After a very hard snog on the way down in the elevator, they stepped out into the foyer.  
  
"Hey! Harry?!" Ron yelled across the lobby not understanding why Harry was walking in the other direction. The shirtless aspect was hardly even noticed by the dumb Gryffindor. "OI! HARRY!"  
  
"No Harry. Shopping not socialising." Draco instructed, and Harry only had a chance to wave.  
  
"Hey 'Mione. Where's Harry going?"  
  
"I'm more worried about the fact that he's not wearing a shirt and all the marks he's got all over himself."  
  
"Hey, Seamus. What do you think?" Dean and Seamus had caught both the scene before them and also the conversation.  
  
"I think so. Looks like our boy Harry got into a bit of frisky action last night." Seamus commented. "Not that you'd recognise it, Herm." He directed at the bushy haired, conservatively dressed bookworm.  
  
Hermione: FUMING. Dean & Seamus: gone. Ron: "What are they on about, 'Mione?". Hermione: "SHUT UP, Ron."  
  
*************************************************  
  
End Chapter 4!  
  
We've decided to up the ante, and we would like NO LESS than 15 reviews, otherwise, NO CHAPTER 5!!!! Of which is titled SHOPPING!!!, so if you wanna know what happens, REVIEW! Lil button is down there, in the corner, waiting ever so patiently, unlike us!!!  
  
MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA(breathe)HAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Had to add that! Sorry, felt good, so we did it!!! 


	5. SHOPPING!

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
A/N: Soooo our faithful reviewers. You have responded to our call rather enthusiastically, for which we are eternally grateful.  
  
WretchedWriter: glad you like it soo much.  
  
pitchic05: don't worry, more harry/draco to come  
  
Fallen Angel: you asked, and you received!  
  
Harry Pothead: you always manage to make us piss ourselves laughing. thankyou muchly for the numerous reviews. you definitely contributed into making the 15 reviews  
  
Ranma Hiqurashi: hope you like our fashion sense.  
  
Gaby: yes, we can soo see Draco being like Carson from Queer Eye. *ideas formulating*  
  
whoeveriwant: Thanks for putting us on ur favlist. and yes, i believe we got about 21 reviews. definitely made it.  
  
Zaeria: big review. thankyou. but what you put forward - these are the questions we ask ourselves. hopefully some of them will be answered soon! hope you like.  
  
SilverDreams04: not to worry we're keeping up this story/smut for a bit longer (however, its not likely to reach 10 chaps.)  
  
Snake-Boi: lol. YES YOU HAVE TO REVIEW!!! grins *maniacally* we'd put more detail in except, well, we don't want to be kicked off. *pouts*  
  
sapphire-wolf1: just wait and see what happens to "poor hermione". and yes, you could say drake and Haz are getting along really well!!!  
  
Justxme: Hello!! this is Evil Story Penguins - u are soooo bloody lucky i was 'unavailable' last week...... hopefully we can convert you!!!!  
  
sexluvr: nice name. thanx  
  
kate: thanks!  
  
2 snitches and a wand: horny bastards? just you wait.  
  
Craw/Brad: not to worry they go shopping!!!! thanks  
  
ejigga1111: you can be evil too huh? don't start something u can't finish!!! we are certifiably insane, coupled with being evil!! we can out evil ANYONE!!!!!!!!!!! (GO SHELDON - Bows down to Snippy and Snarky who say they're updating before February)  
  
zen kitten: not daring just demanding!!!! lol. thankyou for your contribution.  
  
cutiepie 73: thankyou for just wishing to review 15 times. go doggie!!!!!  
  
AND SOOOOOO, the new chapter:  
  
GO READ IT!!!! Then REVIEW IT!!  
  
Chapter 5: SHOPPING!!  
  
"No Draco. Not that shop. No. NO. . . . . oh fuck."  
  
"Try this. This, and this, and ummm. . . .this. Oh My God, and this, this, this, this, not to sure about this, but go for it anyway. Change room now. I'll be back in a minute."  
  
"Why? Where are you going?"  
  
"To get more, dumbass."  
  
"This is going to be a long day." Harry muttered as he took the long procession to the change room. He wasn't in there for more than two minutes when Draco returned with another 3 armfulls of clothes.  
  
"Come on! You should be on shirt number three by now. Or do I need to dress you?"  
  
"Either way!"  
  
"Damn it Harry. Work with me here!" Draco got into the small cubicle and grabbed the first shirt he put his hands on, and proceeded to dress the stunned Gryffindor.  
  
A few minutes later and with various clothing articles being thrown out into the showroom, a shop assistant came over and knocked on the door. "Are you two boys alright in there?"  
  
"HE'S FINE. HE'S JUST BEING DIFFICULT." Draco snapped, as another shirt was thrown over the door and landed on the assistant. The shop assistant gathered some of the disposed shirts and continued her job.  
  
After finding two shirts suitable in the entire Shop's Stock, they moved out into the street. Three shops and only one shirt later, Harry paled at the sign "Leather & Co".  
  
"Let's go this way Draco." Harry desperately tried to lead Draco the other way and not let him see the sign.  
  
"Why? What's over there?" Draco struggled against Harry and finally succeeded. All that resulted was an Evil Laugh that gradually got louder. "Come on Harry."  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Harry wailed as he desperately tried to run away. All in vain however. Draco had a good hold on him. In a last attempt at freedom, Harry screamed "I DON'T LOOK GOOD IN LEATHER!"  
  
"And how do you know? Ever tried it?"  
  
"Well. . . . . . . No. Hermione said I wouldn't." Harry whispered. Draco was not happy.  
  
"I have one piece of advice I'd like you to keep in mind for the rest of your life. NEVER LISTEN TO HERMIONE!!! EVER."  
  
"Yes Draco." A small voice said.  
  
Draco took advantage of the passive Harry and easily threw him into the store. Literally. Draco entered himself and walked straight up to the desk.  
  
"Hi. Can I have one of everything brought to one of the stalls please."  
  
Harry however was still trying to drag himself off the floor, and so missed the request.  
  
"Shall we get started Harry?" Draco said kindly as he gently moved Harry into one of the stalls. Harry was afraid. Nice Draco was Terrifying.  
  
Harry began the long line of trying on clothes as Draco stood just outside the stall buffing his already perfectly manicured nails. What he heard next shocked him.  
  
"Hey. These aren't too bad."  
  
"Harry?" Draco said softly as he parted the curtain. Harry was admiring himself in the mirrors. Especially his arse.  
  
"I want these! And this jacket."  
  
Draco just stared back in shock.  
  
"Oh My God. And I wanna try a pair of those boots. Draco? Wake up Drake. Go get 'em please."  
  
"Merlin. What have I done?" Draco said dead pan, terrified as to what he'd created.  
  
Walking out the store with a full length jacket, 3 sets of the pants Harry loved and the boots in Draco's hands, Harry stopped dead. Eyes dead ahead on the tattoo parlour.  
  
"No Harry. Not that shop. No. NO. . . . . oh fuck." Draco shook his head, thinking: *why do I have this strange sense of Déjà vu?*  
  
But it was too late. Harry was gone.  
  
Draco reluctantly ran after the Boy Who Bolted To The Tattoo Parlour, to find him already looking at the walls with the different designs. It became apparent soon enough that he'd already chosen the tattoos and piercings and yet he kept looking.  
  
"And he'll be having that one and I reckon a nipple ring."  
  
"Right o!"  
  
"WHAT!!!!!!!!!! No no no nononononono. Nobody is branding me let alone piercing me!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Chicken!"  
  
"I am not!"  
  
"Are to!"  
  
"AM NOT!"  
  
"R 2!"  
  
"R NOT!!"  
  
"YES you are!"  
  
"Ah, Sorry to interrupt the domestic, but would you like to come this way?" The body artist interrupted. Harry looked down at Draco and as he just wouldn't budge, he started acting like a chicken, squawking and carrying on. Draco was at about boiling point.  
  
"FINE! You! Get your arse in there and let's get this over with!" He yelled at the tattooist. He turned to Harry, "BUT YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!"  
  
"Want me to hold your hand, Sweetie?"  
  
"Shut THE FUCK up, Potter."  
  
"It doesn't hurt that much, Draky."  
  
"What the fuck are you on about. YOU WERE DRUNK."  
  
"Oh yeah. Forgot about that." Harry laughed to himself.  
  
The tattooist held up the needle, "Who's first?"  
  
They both pointed to each other.  
  
"How bout you go first to show Blondie it's not that bad." He pointed to Harry.  
  
"Yeah, Haz. Show me how brave the Hero is."  
  
Harry just glared, as he jumped into the leather seat.  
  
"What are you getting done then?"  
  
"Tongue and lip."  
  
The tattooist just smiled manically. "Shall we go the tongue first, then? What kind of stud you want?"  
  
"Whatever."  
  
"Is potty getting scared now?" Draco spoke up from the corner.  
  
"Shut it Drake."  
  
"Ready?" Too bad if he wasn't. The tattooist had already pulled the trigger.  
  
"FUCK. YOU ARTHHOLE."  
  
"Sorry. What was that mate?" The manic grin of the tattooist only made Harry shittier. "Ready for the lip?"  
  
Harry glared.  
  
"I'll take that as a yes then." He got ready for the next round. Minutes later, Harry was still shity and Draco was doubled up with laughter.  
  
"Right o matey. You're next Blondie."  
  
"Yeah right." Draco made a run for it.  
  
But Harry was faster and dragged him to the ground. Literally picking up the struggling Slytherin, he chucked him in the chair, ripped his shirt off and held him down ready.  
  
"So he's getting a nipple done, hey?" The tattooist held the gun in plain view of Draco, who went a very unhealthy shade of see-through pale.  
  
"Trust me mate. You'll be in a lot less pain than him straddling you." Draco got a little bit more colour in him; though the grin he got from the man with the gun was hardly reassuring.  
  
After ten minutes of screaming and swearing and Harry holding the blonde back, the piercings were over. Next were the tattoos.  
  
"You can go first Draco. You've only got the one to go."  
  
Draco growled as he was again forcefully manoeuvred into the chair by Harry and the big tattoo dude. This time the tattooist had another gun with some type of cord attached to the base and a fine needle at the end. He took a hold of Draco's arm and (from probably a long time's experience) held on tightly as he was about to begin. However, before he really got anywhere near his arm, Draco started screaming bloody murder.  
  
"Get *away* from me you FREAKIN MUGGLE. HARRY, YOU'RE GOING TO BLOODY DIE!!! I'M GOING TO CUT YOUR HEART OUT WITH A SPOON!! PAIN! LOTS OF PAIN!" (Go alan rickman in robin hood)  
  
Harry just shook his head as he went into the danger zone and placed a hand over Draco's mouth in the hopes of shutting him up. However, this only made the screaming muffled. You have no idea the restraint Harry showed as he refrained from casting the full body bind curse and a silencing charm. That restraint was going to break any minute though.  
  
One hour later, and many requests made from 'Bob' to knock him out, Draco finally had a tattoo. On his left upper arm was a black set of angel's wings, the ends pointing upwards. The area around it was a little red, but you'd think his arm had been ripped off with the way that Draco continued to curse everything in site (sans magic of course).  
  
After a deep, long breathe, Draco managed to calm down to a degree and kindly informed Harry that it was now his turn. Suddenly 'Bob' reappeared from a door and motioned to a table; obviously thinking it now safe that another domestic was over.  
  
"Thut up Dwaco." Harry made his way over to the table and sat down.  
  
"So what are we getting done, mate?"  
  
"Left thoulder. The thword with the sthnake around it."  
  
"Oh yeah, I know the one you mean, you want to sit up or lay on the table?"  
  
Draco glared at the connotations that could be made from the question.  
  
"Whath everth easthy for you."  
  
"Eh. Table. Left shoulder was it?"  
  
Harry nodded as he just jumped up on the table, not needing to take his shirt off because he still hadn't been able to keep one on whilst the shopping spree adventure, thing, with Draco. He took the pain rather well, the occasional whimper was all that made it out of his mouth.  
  
Draco was just staring in shock. "HOW the FUCK can you take that?"  
  
"My reputathon."  
  
"You're what?" Draco looked at him questioningly.  
  
"Tom Riddle, ring any bellths?"  
  
"Ahhh." Draco put two and two together. "Aren't we the Hero then?"  
  
Harry just growled as he laid his head back on the table. Soon after, 'Bob' announced that he'd finished and allowed Harry to look in the mirror.  
  
"Coowl." Harry looked at the similar sword to Godric's and the green serpent that encircled it.  
  
"Were you getting anything else?" 'Bob' interrupted.  
  
"Yeah. Buth he'th not allowed to sthee it."  
  
"Right o. You wanna wait out side then?" Draco just looked over at Harry curiously before making his way out of the backroom and into the reception area where all the tattoos were displayed.  
  
Half a boring hour later, Harry returned and payed for their new art and they left the store.  
  
"Thisth fucking hursth."  
  
"No DUH!, wonder boy. Lets go."  
  
They continued to window browse for the next five minutes, (Harry the one dragging Draco around) but suddenly Harry stopped.  
  
"Fuck thisth." He dragged Draco down a side street and pulled out his wand.  
  
Chucking healing spells around for a while, they finally re-emerged when the pain and swelling had gone.  
  
"Well, that's a whole lot better." Harry commented as his speech had been returned to a semi-normal state. He never mentioned that he was still a little tender in the gluteal regions.  
  
"So. How bout we go back to the hotel?" Draco looked mischievously as he grabbed Harry by the arse and pulled him flush against him.  
  
Harry winced.  
  
"You alright?"  
  
"Never better." Harry gritted out.  
  
Draco looked a little concerned before he dragged him back to the hotel.  
  
****************  
  
"Harry where have you been? Why are you carrying so many shopping bags? Where's your shirt? What the hell is that? When did you get that? Why did you get that?" Hermione looked indignant. Ron just stood there staring at the ceiling, not noticing anything take place.  
  
Harry looked at her a minute before replying:  
  
"Shopping with Draco. Cos he made me. In a pile of ashes. It's a tattoo. And hour ago. Cos I felt like it."  
  
"Excuse me. Must go!" Draco pushed through past Hermione and guided Harry into the lift.  
  
"Malfoy? MALFOY!!!!!!!!!" Was heard but ignored as the doors closed.  
  
"Now then, Mr Potter. What are you hiding from me?"  
  
"You'll have to find out!" Harry grinned evilly.  
  
"Is that so?" Draco countered in a calm voice that scared the crap out of the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Survive-Voldemort.  
  
With the little *Bing* that signified the lift had arrived, Draco took Harry's arm and dragged him down the corridor to their room. Bags were flung inside as Draco pushed him up against the door that had just closed, and proceeded to snog him silly.  
  
As what usually happened in such situations with the two boys, they became naked rather quickly and Draco took the chance to check him over for the little secret. Turning the raven haired Gryffindor around, he found what he was looking for.  
  
"FUCKING HELL, HARRY!!!"  
  
***********************  
  
BWAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH, just what was that last tattoo?? And why did Draco react the way he did????  
  
You'll find out soon. However, this weeks request (PRETTY PLEASE)  
  
We cordially ask for 25 reviews for this chapter. YOU LOT ARE CATCHING UP!! We've only just finished chappie 7. you guys are catching up way too quickly. Hopefully we might be able to finish more this weekend. In the mean time, get reviewin!!!!! 


	6. The Englishman

Warning: Now thoroughly desperate, the coffee has been incorporated! We've run out of alcohol.  
  
Hello everyone and sorry for taking so long. Its just. . . . . . .. . . . . .we're rather depressed at the moment. Not as many reviews as we would have liked, and well, we were re-institutionalized last week. Except to the bad places. Starz n Moonz is back at High School and Evil Story Penguins has started Uni. We're very depressed at the moment. And btw. The reason why we wanted soo many reviews was because, YOU GUYS ARE CATCHING UP!!!! We've only started writing chapter 8, probly a whole two pages soo far too. Sooo. Hopefully we'll finish up soon and you'll get to read it.  
  
But now, because we didn't get as many reviews, (yes Harry Pothead, I now you tried to review numerous times) we're going to make you wait for what is says on harry's nice little butt.!!!!! Bwahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahhaha  
  
Thankyou to everyone that reviewed!!!!  
  
Chapter 6: The Englishman  
  
Through our travels through Ibiza we do believe we have forgotten many a character. We have focused on Harry and Draco's first night and day together. But we're guessing that you may now be wondering such thoughts as: Where's Blaise, the hyper-horny Slytherin?  
  
Here is his story.  
  
**********  
  
Upon arrival at Hotel 69, Blaise had been given his key and had made his way up to level 3. Upon entering the room, he was deeply disgusted with what he found. Nope, this room was NOT going to be used. He dumped his bags by the door and immediately changed into some board shorts.  
  
"Camping out by the pool sounds good!" The Slytherin verbally made his arrangements and left the room. It was not entirely sure whether he would return or not.  
  
Now lazing back in a deck chair pulled up along side the pool (near the shallow end with the stairs to get out were located), he proceeded to access the situation. Taking in the whole scene, he noticed that near the other end of the line of deck chairs sat a lone, black, witch's hat planted on the corner. It reminded him of McGonagall, which instantly made him shrink back. Keeping that image at bay out of his mind, he kept looking around.  
  
*Whole lot of nice lookin' chicks, couple of guys too. What to do, what to do! Who to DO!?!? Hhhhhmmmmmmmmmm. Eenie meanie miney mo. . . .* he proceeded to pick someone to chase at random.  
  
This hour's subject turned out to be a blonde girl in a black bikini. *Not too bad for a warm up* Blaise commented on the quiet, as he looked her up and down. Taking up his empty glass, he made his way over to the little hut under a coconut tree and to where she was standing.  
  
"Hello there," he made sure to really make his accent noticeable. For some reason he always found that when in another country, chicks loved the accent. "What's your name?"  
  
"Sandra. What's yours cutie?" She said coyly, playing with a ringlet of her blonde hair.  
  
"One Englishman getting really hot and bothered over you!" He tried the Malfoy smirk, but failed dismally.  
  
"Really!" She giggled. "Perhaps a dip in the swimming pool will cool you off."  
  
"How bout you join me? Maybe we can fix the situation together?" he put his arm around her waist.  
  
'Sandra' gave a high pitched giggle. "Okay!"  
  
Blaise led her over to the pool and she tried to seem sexy as she walked down the stairs until she could swim out. Blaise stood on the edge as he waited for her to be out a bit. "You coming cutie?" she called out to him.  
  
"Soon. Very soon." He stood near the edge of the deeper end before diving in. He resurfaced behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She squealed as if she was caught by surprise. Turning around in his arms she splashed water in his face, and of course he retaliated. A short water fight erupted but soon turned to different game of "Lets see who can hold their breath longest." Surprisingly, this game was not played underwater.  
  
Soon enough they were making a whole lot more noise, as Blaise had maneuvered her into one of the walls. The bottom half of 'Sandra's' bikini's were floating away along with Blaise's boardies. A lot of moaning and groaning on Blaise's part, and screaming on 'Sandra's part, later, Blaise held true to his prior statement.  
  
After ten minutes of profuse panting, 'Sandra' finally asked again: "My God!!! What is your name?"  
  
"The Englishman." Blaise made another attempt at a Malfoy smirk. (Authors shakes heads.)  
  
**************  
  
Word soon spread throughout Ibiza of "The Englishman". Many of the Hogwarts students had assumed this to be Professor Snape, disgusting the thought might be. But the good Potions Master was otherwise engaged with a young red head, that looked way too much like Lily Evans (no he never recognised her as Potter. Lily Snape maybe ((A/N: You wish Sevie Poo!)), but never Potter!) than he cared to admit.  
  
Strangely enough, however, he'd seen quite a lot of the werewolf hanging around. He was getting a little worried that Lupin might be working the same girl. If So, Snape was going to be going OFF! No holds barred. BESERK!  
  
**************  
  
Remus on the other hand had taken a liking to a lovely red head too. But the potions master and pain in the arse, extraordinaire had inhibited any move he may have been able to make on her. It almost seemed like Severus was following him.  
  
"Eugh!!!" Remus shook himself from the bad thoughts.  
  
**************  
  
The red head in question, an Anna Johnson, had seen both men across the room, and was already making her own plans.  
  
**************  
  
Back at Hotel 69, Hermione had taken to reading the menu, just for something to read. She planned on setting herself a quiz later on. Ron, who happened to share the same room, had gotten his chess set out and was playing himself. The only question was: Who will win? He was very puzzled on this one. It could go either way! It took only one mistake on his behalf, and then he'd win! Complete concentration was required. And he wasn't giving up without a fight.  
  
**************  
  
In the room next door, behind a rather powerful silencing charm and numerous repellant wards, was Dean and Seamus. They weren't alone however. They had half the female population of Ibiza in their room, and they were pretty happy about that (despite the fact that they're gay, and rather 'involved' with each other). One could almost call their scenario a very OPEN bi-sexual relationship. Incredibly open. As in hurry, hurry, step right up and jump in if you feel like it.  
  
They were VERY happy for the time being.  
  
**************  
  
As Lav and Pav were both from wizarding families, it was surprising to learn that they knew much about the island. Deciding to make lists and such for shopping they also decided that they would go SHOPPING tomosrrow, they proceeded to do make overs on each other, and planned ones on other class mates. Their favourite test subject was Hermione. They could only dream!!!  
  
Don't worry we'll come back to them later!  
  
**************  
  
Dumbledore had become quite the visual eyesore. He'd exchanged the flowing robes for a bright, blinding yellow boardies and a blue Hawaii shirt. He still had the long beard and hair flowing around him, but to top the outfit off, he had a sombrero hat. Only one metre in diameter.  
  
He didn't look conspicuous at all!!  
  
**************  
  
The biggest curiosity of the trip so far, however, was the sudden disappearance of Professor Minerva McGonagall. Upon arrival at Hotel 69, she had alleged to be going to the bathroom. However she was never seen since.  
  
Although Blaise thought he saw her hat. . . .  
  
******************************************************************** And there we have another chapter, dear readers. More Harry n Draco next chappie, and just what was that last tattoo????  
  
REVIEW little readers. You will be rewarded with tasty treats!!!!! 


	7. Stormy Weather In The Bedroom!

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Warning Update!!!! We have now found the Cruisers, now officially VERY happy (wink wink, nudge nudge!), not to mention the Ruski's. Mmmmmmm!!! (SNM Almost as nummy as Orli! . . . Almost being the opportune word! Ahem . . . sorry . . .) Even better is we've just had a little look at PotC DVD . . . wow, I mean wow! Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom . . . could you get any better! Again . . . sorry . . .  
  
Everyone say 'Hi' to ESP  
  
(Everyone: Hi ESP!)  
  
ESP: morning avid reviewers!!!!! I bet ur all pissed off something chronic about us not updating!!! But, we've been lazy!!!! Neuff!!! To you!!! :D  
  
SNM: Or we could just blame the Institutions . . . that might work . . . and the injustices inherent in the system!  
  
ESP: Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!  
  
Anyway! Don't mind us! We digress! Monty Python Rules! All bow in unworthiness of the Gods of Comedy!!!!  
  
Hi, welcome back!  
  
SNM: Just found out that the chair kinda moves . . . damn rolling chairs!!!!!!!!!! Though they're fun when you're bored in class!!!!!!  
  
ESP: To the point of actually doing work! Happened WAY too much this week!!!  
  
SNM: I am sorry for you, meanwhile I've had a SIX AND A HALF DAY WEEKEND!!!! Ner ner!!  
  
ESP: HELLO!!!!?!?!?!?!?!? I have a five day weekend every week!!!!!!!  
  
SNM: I THOUGHT that it was four!!!!!!! You Lie!!!!!  
  
ESP: Shaddup!!!! *hands head in shame* Don't fall off ur chair!!!  
  
SNM: Correction . . . YOUR chair!!!!! That sounds bad, doesn't it . . .  
  
ESP: *Nods head*  
  
SNM: Hmm, well just for the readers, coz we kinda know the TRUTH!!! The truth . . . YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!! Anyway, I'm at her house, sitting in a chair OWNED by ESP!!! Got it??????????? *Glares menacingly*  
  
ESP: And we're playin Linkin Park up REAL loud. Just thought I'd tell you. No reason........ nope none what so ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
SNM: ESP's has gotten to the point where she has to 'Hunt n Peck', she's getting shitty!!!  
  
Soooooo.......... Should we be getting to the reviews or what???  
  
Yeah, may be wise.  
  
THANKYOU to all reviewers!  
  
That is all.  
  
. . . . . .  
  
Hi!  
  
Done and Done!  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
Chapter 7 – Stormy Weather in the Bedroom!!!  
  
Previously: Draco had just looked at Harry's arse! Now what was tattooed on it????? READ ON TO FIND OUT!!!!  
  
GO ON . . . READ FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!  
  
STOP READING THESE ANNOYING LITTLE TIME-WASTING, PAIN-IN-THE-ARSE, THERE- FOR-ONLY-THE-PURPOSE-OF-PISSING-YOU-ALL-OFF MESSAGES!!!!!!!  
  
SCRAM!!!  
  
DOWN THE PAGE!!!  
  
THAT'S IT!!!  
  
NOW THEY'RE GETTING THE HANG OF IT!!!!!!!!  
  
Sorry . . . .  
  
"So what do you think?" Harry asked, sounding braver than he felt.  
  
"Give me a minute, Merlin, I'm still in shock over here!" Draco continued to stare, muttering to himself. One comment however, stood out from the rest: "- and the boy comes with a manual!"  
  
"So, what do you think?" Harry repeated his question.  
  
"I think it's time I test drive the new property!" Draco grinned in a feral way as he again took Harry in his arms and pushed him up against the door again, licking and biting his way around Harry's neck. Slowly he made his way down Harry's spine and down to his waist where he traced his name with his tongue (one of the tatt's anyway = "Draco's"). With Harry moaning at Draco's ministrations, the blonde made his way down to the Gryffindor's arse, on which was now written, one word per cheek, "Insert" "Here".  
  
A manual indeed, Draco took the advice and prepared Harry. Soon after ramming right into him.  
  
"What's the manual say now Harry?" Draco laughed.  
  
"Repeat!" Harry moaned.  
  
"Where does it say that?" Draco liked this kind of control.  
  
"SHUT up and FUCK me!"  
  
"Hmmm, not reading that one either . . ."  
  
Harry growled, he had had enough. He took over.  
  
Pushing away from the door, Draco fell on the sofa, and Harry sat down on top, impaling himself fully. Draco groaned loudly, grabbing hold of Harry's hips as he started to wriggle around on him.  
  
********  
  
The next morning, Harry woke up in bed, cuddled up to with Draco, as dawn's first rays settled in their room.  
  
"God. Too early," Harry muttered as he picked up his wand (funnily enough, it was near him), and cast a charm to close the curtains. Wriggling back down into Draco, he fell asleep again.  
  
The next time they woke up was to a really girly scream which came from a red blur that seemed to disappear out the door.  
  
"Huh?! Wha?! What the fuck?" Draco sat bolt upright in bed, as Harry was left to huddle in the remaining warmth.  
  
"Ignore it. Maybe it'll go away," Harry muttered again, cuddling back up with Draco when he laid back down. He'd just fallen asleep when a huge bang woke him again.  
  
Okay, Harry was pissed now. Couldn't he just sleep in for once???  
  
"HARRY JAMES POTTER!!! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"  
  
"I guess it won't go away?" Draco muttered unhelpfully.  
  
Harry ignored Draco, "I'm trying to sleep, 'Mione."  
  
"But it's seven o'clock. You should have been up ages ago!"  
  
"Granger! We are not at Hogwarts. Harry wants to sleep, I want to sleep. GO AWAY!"  
  
"That was civil of you," Harry commented as he nestled down into Draco's neck to attempt sleep again.  
  
"HARRY POTTER! GET OUT OF THAT BED NOW!"  
  
"Bugger off," Harry whined.  
  
"Harry," Draco whispered in his ear, "if they're not gone in a minute, I will turn on you and kick you out!"  
  
"Prick!" Harry whispered back, vehemently. Harry then spoke up: "Herm, do you want me to get up now?"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"Do you want to see me naked?"  
  
"NO! What's that got to do with anything?"  
  
"Well that's what you're going to GET if I get up right now!"  
  
"And NOBODY sees MY property naked, Granger, now GET OUT!" Draco muttered, but still easily audible.  
  
Now in a big huffy fit of anger, Hermione stormed out the room and made sure to slam the door as hard as she could.  
  
"Okay. Sleep time now!" Harry said sleepily as again he snuggled in.  
  
"Oh yeah!" they curled up again, asleep, waiting for 3 o'clock.  
  
**************  
  
"Come on Ron. We're going without him!" Hermione stormed through the entrance foyer to the hotel in a very grumpy mood.  
  
"MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T SEE!!!"  
  
"Shut up Ron!" Hermione chastised him as she dragged him by the collar to the café for breakfast.  
  
**************  
  
It was day three of the Hogwarts' students stay in Ibiza. For Snape and Lupin, It had been a long two days since they had first met the red head named ''Anna''. Two very long days in which neither of them had been able to make a move on her due to the other's presence. A storm was brewing and she knew it. The question was, how long could she prolong it for. Hopefully until tomorrow night, before they left. If it was sooner, well it couldn't be helped! And she had it all planned out.  
  
**************  
  
Later that afternoon, of course after three o'clock, found Harry and Draco lounging in one of the big pools near the hotel. They were soon joined by Hermione and Ron (former – still irate, latter - . . . . awake, and had regained his eyesight). Soon, everyone was relaxed as Harry and Draco chatted together sitting near the shallow end, Hermione had found a Spanish – English dictionary and had started to study, whilst Ron floated around on top of the water. The calm was soon destroyed when Ron started screaming again and trying to run through the water to get away from the 'thing'.  
  
Everyone watched curiously as Harry got one of the pool nets and pulled the 'thing' out of the water.  
  
"McGonagall's bra's. I'm gonna be sick!" Ron ran as fast as he could to the nearest toilets. Harry and Draco started backing away from the offending item. Hermione just rolled her eyes.  
  
"Seriously, how does he know they're hers?" Hermione said indignantly.  
  
"BAD IMAGES GRANGER!" Draco yelled at her, becoming rather disgusted.  
  
"Seriously!! Boys are so immature!!" Hermione said in annoyance, as she took off back to the hotel.  
  
"And now we have the place to ourselves again," Harry smiled at Draco.  
  
"Ever tried it in a pool?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"W'Anna'?"  
  
Harry just grinned as Draco took his mouth.  
  
They broke apart, "Do you know how weird it is kissing you with those piercings?"  
  
"Are you suggesting you want to get YOUR tongue and lip done?"  
  
"NO! It's just freaky," Draco started snogging him yet again.  
  
**************  
  
Meanwhile, at a different pool, Blaise was making himself quite a reputation. Known as The Englishman, people were now coming in from far and wide to see what all the 'fuss' was about. And fuss they did as he seriously considered skipping the last part of the school term and staying here. He could make a career of it, and stay happy.  
  
He'd have the chicks, (or guys if the mood took him), and money; he already had the fame. What else did he need?  
  
Sitting at a table along side a hedge, his admirers were gathered mainly in front of him, all talking animatedly to him when he heard something he wished he'd never hear, never make out what it was, never recognise it. ANYTHING.  
  
From the other side of the hedge, were various animalistic noises coming across, but the one that disturbed him the most was when the name "Minerva" was moaned out, accompanied by another moan.  
  
If you thought Ronald Weasley could run fast, then you ain't never seen Blaise Zabini. Not caring what the masses thought, Blaise took off as fast as he could to rid himself of the nasty sounds that echoed in his mind, and the pictures it put up to accompany these sound clips.  
  
Soon he stopped running as he found himself in a room. A very boring room with just a single bed. In front of him was a couple of bags, with Hogwarts school robes dumped over them.  
  
"How the hell did I make it back here?" Blaise started taking a look around. He made his way over to the bed, but found it messed up, "What the?" he was booked for this room, no one else. He didn't sleep here, so who did?  
  
The answer came to him when he walked around to the other side of the bed and saw something white sticking out from under the bed. Pulling it out, he saw that it was a pair of grannie panties. "EWWWW!!!!!" he held them out away from him, only to notice the tag: "M. McGonagall".  
  
"GOOD FUCKING LORD!" Blaise got the bin and dumped them in there. Taking his wand out (with the hand that DIDN'T touch them) he cast an incendio spell, and they were reduced to ashes, "SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT DISINFECTANT DISINFECTANT DISINFECTENT SHIT!!" (Never mind the fact he was quite happy to get it chopped off), the Slytherin started scrambling about for something to wash his hand in.  
  
**************  
  
Meanwhile, back at the bar, there was 'Anna', sitting drinking a Pina Cola, Sev on one side, Remus on the other. Both were thoroughly drunk. Scattered in front of Sev were numerous whisky shot glasses, while Remus had stacked his vodka shot glasses in a similar design to that of the Hogwarts Castle, the odd Cruiser (yummy!) bottle being an addition.  
  
"So, Sev was it?" she started running a hand in Remus's lap.  
  
Through lidded eye lids, he slurred, "Syep!" he swayed a bit in his chair.  
  
On the other side, came the loud tinkle of shattering glass as Remus moaned, the Hogwarts replica now lay across the bar.  
  
"Got any plans for tonight, Sev?" ''Anna'' whispered in Snape's ear, her hand moving faster in Remus's lap.  
  
"Nuh!" Snape picked up the recently emptied whisky glass and sculled air. He looked at it curiously before ditching it behind the bar, severely disappointed.  
  
Remus's head landed on the bar with a thunk and a moan escaping his lips. You could see his body jerking in rather questionable shudders. But, you know, they are in Ibiza after all, anything could and does happen.  
  
It was with this thought in mind that no one questioned the quick exit that was made as a young red headed woman led two men out of the bar.  
  
The Licensee turned to one of the barmen, "Looks like Red has found another unsuspecting pair!"  
  
The barman just nodded in reply, a smirk placed firmly on his lips.  
  
Back in the hotel, (surprisingly they'd made it that far) the trio were quite occupied with one of the walls as Remus was held against the wall, being snogged silly as 'Anna' pinned him there with her hips, the contact made closer by Sev coming up behind her and making heavy work on her neck.  
  
Eventually Remus mustered the energy to move the other two in the general direction of his room, even though he never noticed Sev behind 'Anna'. Coming up to a door, Remus pinned 'Anna' against it (Sev actually, 'Anna' in the middle), and went about attempting to open the door. Eventually, 'Anna' had had enough and searched his pockets, and came up successful as she unlocked and opened the door, Sev falling back, taking 'Anna' and therefore Remus with him.  
  
Luckily because the room was small, they landed on the bed, and the two men went about removing her shirt, both worshipping her body. Soon she craved more and so, with buttons littering the bed and floor, she ripped first Sev's and then Remus's shirts off.  
  
Thinking it was time to get the show on the road, Remus jumped off and ripped his pants off. 'Anna' took advantage of the moment and got up to kneel between Sev's legs. Undoing his belt and pants, they soon joined the buttons on the ground. Sev moaned as she took his base in her hand and squeezed as she tentatively licked him like a lollipop. He cried out in pleasure as she took him whole.  
  
Remus had let a part of his instinct take over and literally ripped her skirt off of her, taking her very tiny underwear with it. He reached under her and slipped his hand along her wetness.  
  
The motions made her moan, sending vibrations along Sev's buried cock. To keep from biting Sev, she had to let him go as Remus's ministrations went inside of her . . . three fingers worth! Barely muffling her scream, she took the nearest handle and held on with all her might. Sev didn't mind this one bit. Seeing as it was his cock.  
  
Remus continued to stroke her, biting down on her shoulder. He found her g- spot and relentlessly rubbed it, not stopping for anything! Within seconds, she screamed as she came all over Remus' hand. When the stars had slowed a bit she could feel that her own hand was quite wet and somewhat sticky as the 'poll' she was holding onto bucked and spurted out into her hand. Only then did she notice the moaning and groaning coming from below her. Leaning down she licked her hand clean and then moved on to the source, Sev moving his knees up to balance her.  
  
Remus was already leaking and knew he wanted her now. So moving right up behind her, he lifted up 'her' hips and slid into 'her'.  
  
*She can't be a virgin!* he thought as he noticed just how tight 'she' was. Not to mention dry.  
  
A loud moan came from below Remus as he thrust deep. Doing it again the moan got louder.  
  
'Anna' was enjoying the ride as Sev rose up to meet Remus who thrust all the deeper. Straddling Sev's stomach she leant back against Remus who began attacking her neck. He brought his hands around her and grabbed her breasts, fondling them fervently. Sev's hands also rose up and grabbed her hips and held on.  
  
The three of them got faster and faster until they screamed in orgasm.  
  
They could be heard seven floors up as Harry and Draco lay awake in their bed, cuddling as they also recovered from a night of ecstasy.  
  
As the orgasm ended, Remus pulled out of 'her', and fell to the side, collapsing next to 'her'. The actual 'she' in the action came off of Sev and fell to his other side. They fell asleep in each other's arms.  
  
**********************************************************  
  
Eh eh eh!! Just you lot wait until morning!  
  
Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahah  
  
And that was the first threesome we've written. Not too sure bout the whole thing, at least Evil Story Penguins, anyway. That was kooky to write............. Yeah, I noticed that too, hope you like.  
  
Ah, I see that the chapter has come to an end.  
  
Means you ALL HAVE TO *REVIEW* LOTS to get another chapter.  
  
I dare say that we shouldn't be soooooooooo cruel as to make you all wait another month! Ahem.  
  
But you all know the drill . . . review and ye shall receive! 


	8. Good Morning Sunshine!

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we *use* them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
HUGE DRUM ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thankyou so kindly! *Pats mysterious drummer on the back*  
  
ONWARDS TO THE REVIEWS!  
  
Lets see know, what have we here,  
  
Emotional Malfoy – Live by that saying! Once you've read fanfic, you're unaffected by anything! Except for some pairings, some of those are incredibly evil and as such wouldn't be given the time of day!  
  
Circe-Asteria – We have corrupted another . . . our task continues! *Big Evil Laugh!* Yeah, we found out that you have to be careful WHERE you read our stuff . . . at our institutions for one thing, is not smart . . . still we do it!  
  
Mysterious Muggle . . . Person . . . Thingy – Yeah, okay, you do that *Backs away slowly from computer!* But my fish are only tiny! And ESP is fishless. Slash does rock. That doesn't even need to be said!  
  
bluetribalrose – More has come (pun intended!)  
  
Avalon Kennleigh – We could make you wait, but I don't think that we are *that* cruel. (ESP nods head.) Okay so maybe we are, but hey! That's our way of life . . . deal and build a bridge!  
  
I'm having sooooo much fun today! Everybody run away screaming to the calendar!!!! MARK THAT CALENDARS!!! THEN RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!!! HER IMAGINATION IS LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!! RUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!  
  
Bad-Azz-Slytherin + Chaos – We are glad you like! You will like this one!!!  
  
Craw/Brad – Ask and you shall receive!  
  
REVIEW and you shall receive!!! HINT HINT PEOPLE!!!  
  
Starr Light1 – Funny is good!  
  
Marauders Magelet – We have corrupted another! Oh we are feeling good today! (Again, run for the hills!) MUCH more is on it's way!!!!!!!  
  
LAUGHS BIG-TIME EVILLY!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Okay people  
  
Chapters down the page!!! Scram and read . . . tis an order!  
  
Chapter 8 – Good Morning Sunshine  
  
It was early Thursday morning when Harry was woken from his sleep time with Draco, YES, surprisingly enough, they slept for PART of the night, and decided to go for a walk. And so it was that Harry was walking down the third floor corridor (AN: whoa! Déjà vu, first yr.) when he remembered that Remus was on this floor, and was usually an early riser. Deciding to go for a visit, Harry made his way to the door and knocked, entering straight afterward.  
  
All was quiet until then. . . Next was a very, VERY loud scream, followed by the LOUD yelling. We're talking kicking the arse of sonic booms LOUD!!! Then came the pounding of Draco's feet flying down the corridor (He took the stairs if you're wondering . . . much faster than waiting for the lift.) to Harry's rescue.  
  
The translation to this was: Harry took two steps into the room before coming to a dead halt upon spying the bed. Seeing what he assumed to be Remus' head, enveloped in an embrace with a dark, greasy set of hair, and a redhead sitting up on the edge of the bed, filing her nails. Hence the screaming.  
  
Of course, upon hearing the screaming, this woke the two gentlemen up. Hence the yelling, and therefore more screaming as Harry discovered the true identity of the owner of the dark, greasy hair.  
  
The last, Draco coming to the rescue of the hero, was of course accompanied by the, "What is it? What is it? What is it? . . . . . . .Holy FUCK!" as he entered the room and finally took in his surroundings, including the naked professors. "OKAY! OKAY! TURNING AROUND NOW AND LEAVING. Come on Harry. Harry? HARRY! NOW!"  
  
Draco ended up dragging Harry away as the supposed Saviour of the Wizarding World was still in shock. (AN: in our professional opinion, we believe Harry was suffering from the initial stages of post traumatic shock syndrome. We do believe yellow pills are for that. Black is still the favourite though.)  
  
The gentlemen and lady in question however never really noticed the boys (apart from the wake up call) or their departure, but were deeply involved in their own form of aggressive negotiations.  
  
"What THE FUCK are YOU doing in MY room SNAPE?" Remus yelled as he desperately tried to disentangle himself from the Potions Master.  
  
"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW?" Snape was also trying to push away, and so landed on his arse. "Fuck, OW!"  
  
"GET OUT!" Remus pointed at the door, yelling.  
  
"Yeah, as soon as I find some clothes." Snape tried to get up. ~Oh god that is not good.~ Snape winced as he managed to stand, struggling with the difficulty of getting up due to the slight pain he felt in his arse. Keyword there being 'IN', not 'ON'.  
  
"NO! GET OUT NOW!!!!!!" Remus picked up a pair of evil-looking underwear, that was not his, and threw them at Snape. They landed on his head. Snape rummaged around the numerous piles of mixed clothing items and found all of his clothes, surprisingly enough, and limped out of the room – the pain was not located in, or on, either of his legs.  
  
Remus sat on the edge of the bed head in his hands as he tried to remember what had happened last night. He thought back in time, images swirling passed him in a time warp fashion (ooooooh! Pretty colours!). Then it clicked; what he put his member in was somewhat dry and confusingly tight.  
  
"Holy good fucking lord in hell. I . . . fucked . . . Sn . . . Sna . . . Nope. Can't say it." He was seriously contemplating cutting a rather important piece of male anatomy from his person. He turned to Anna, who just sweetly smiled at him, "Good morning!" she said cheerfully as she continued to file her nails.  
  
He looked back a little further in time, with even more swirling colours! "Tell me! PLEASE! That I didn't have my HAND up Snape's arse!!!!"  
  
"No, that was me. But let me say, that you definitely gave Sev a pummelling. By the sounds of things, you loved every moment of it, and so did he!" She had finished with her nails and was brushing her hair with her fingers.  
  
"ENJOYED IT!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!????????? My fucking arse!"  
  
"No, his."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"By the way, do you know a kid with untamed black hair? Or a blondie by any chance?"  
  
VERY slowly Remus turned to face her, face quite pale. "Yeeeeeeah, whyyyyyy?"  
  
"He came in this morning, that was the scream that woke you up. Didn't look too happy. Should have seen the blondie's face."  
  
Remus fainted.  
  
**************************************************************************** ***********  
  
Said couple were sitting in their bed, hiding under the covers, VERY scared. Harry was still in his fit and Draco was getting to that stage, breathing becoming rather erratic.  
  
Knock on door. Harry screamed in fright, trying to bury himself further into the bed, or Draco, either one.  
  
Door opened. Door closed. Draco in a rather girlish squeak, "Who is it?"  
  
"Um . . . Harry?"  
  
Harry: SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
  
Draco clamped a hand over Harry's mouth, though you could still hear him but it was rather muffled.  
  
"Harry, some of us still need our hearing, Haz."  
  
Remus wrinkled his brow in confusion, "Malfoy?"  
  
Draco popped his head out of the covers, "Yes?" girlish voice still intact.  
  
"What are you doing in Harry's *room* let alone in his bed?"  
  
"I could ask the saaaaaame thing about Snape."  
  
Remus: paled immensely. "Oh, that 'blondie' Anna mentioned was you. Still, ANSWER MY QUESTION!!!!"  
  
"Comforting Harry. What he saw when he walked into your room was rather disturbing. I am having trouble accepting the fact that I am still able to talk to you, after just the brief glimpse that I saw. I don't wanna know how much my poor Harry saw."  
  
"YOUR poor Harry?"  
  
"Yeah, that's right, MY poor Harry! He's branded and all! And he comes with a manual!"  
  
Remus guessed what he was on about, "PARDON?!?!?!?!???? Now THAT is too much information!!!!!!!"  
  
Draco considered this, "But then again, it's not really all that necessary . . . I already knew what I was doing, having done so before, to Harry I mean."  
  
Remus stood there shocked! "STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP!!! My good lord! When I meet James again, he's gonna MURDER me, even though I'm already going to be dead. But THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING SLEEPING WITH HARRY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"  
  
"Having sex, what else?"  
  
Remus: Fume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HIM!!!!!!!"  
  
Harry came out of hiding, "HE LOVE'S ME, FOR ME!!!!!! Whoa, where did that come from?"  
  
Draco was just staring at him, "Ooookaaayy. Go back under the covers, Harry. There's a good boy."  
  
"Don't you go ordering him about."  
  
Harry returned to the surface, "He can do what he likes. Hell, he does anyway." He shrugged.  
  
Remus: Fainted.  
  
Again.  
  
**************************************************************************** *******************  
  
Well, it's good to see that Dean and Seamus had gotten along quite well with the island called Ibiza!  
  
And welcomed ALL inhabitants, resident or tourist, to what was now affectionately called 'The Hug Club', i.e. their hotel room.  
  
No, they haven't emerged from their room since they had started all their little get-togethers that second afternoon (after they had escaped Hermione's death glare for insulting her, but to the rest of us, they were just telling the truth! For all who have forgotten, go back a few chapters and RE-READ! More swirling colours!).  
  
Their relationship with each other was now WELL opened up. The 'incense' that they had burning in the room didn't help either, well, depending of your definition of help. Therefore, after consulting The Deranged Dictionary For Two Deranged Penguins And Those Who Need To Be Educated, we found that it helped them immensely. So did the alcohol. And caffeine. Bit like us! Don't ask . . . just experience! We are now currently typing this at 2:41am after an engagement party at which we consumed the equivalent of four cups of coffee in two cups in the space of five minutes after we were dismayed to discover that they had ran out of Coke, the Primary Source of Sugar and Caffeine, only to then discover that if you dig further down in the ice, you'd find more. Damn we were NOT HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Down right PISSED! Really shitted off! In other words, in a bad mood! Give us a minute and I'm sure we can come up with more! Thinking, thinking, thinking, OW!! What the FUCK???? Oh right, pissed off readers wanting us to get on with the story. We get it now!! We digress!  
  
We are ashamed. (Go Finding Nemo!! That French Crustacean KICKS ARSE!!!)  
  
Anyway, back to the story, as more sharp objects go flying passed . . . MISSED US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! OW! Alright, who has good aim??????????? We've already been hit in the heads once tonight! Thankyou VERY much Amanda!  
  
So.............................................................................................................  
  
Soooo........................................................................................................  
  
I'd do more, but I can't be bothered.  
  
We like to piss people off. Shall we stop here, or piss them off some more? I like the way you think E.S.P. I was funnily enough thinking the same thing. PISS EM OFF!!!!!  
  
Seamus and Dean, remember them? Well, they had started up a little room (that the Hotel manager had not found out about! Yet!) known as 'The Hug Club'. Not that any hugging went on in there, NOOOOOO that was far too chaste for 'The Hug Club'!!!!!!  
  
More happened! Much MUCH more!!!!!!! We swear if they weren't boning The Englishman, they were there, boning all, at the same time. No we're not kidding! And no, we're not writing any details, we are being evil (that means normal) and leaving it to the IMAGINATION!!!! TDDFTDPATWNTBE Definition: Kooky thing with interesting images. I.e. seven-some! At least!  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************  
  
Lav and Pav, our favourite gossip-queens were of course, currently indisposed.  
  
They had heard about a RAVE, TOTALLY WIKID new club called 'The Hug Club'.  
  
Nuff said.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********************  
  
Not everyone had attended the new club, seeing as one hotel room can hold only so many, seeing as most of the current population was already held within the room. And so, therefore, Dear Professor Dumbledore had forgone his trip to the new club to allow another youngin' to attend, being the kind old kinky man he was.  
  
In light of this arrangement, he had imbibed (consumed for those of US who have SIMPLE minds!!! Thankyou E.S.P.!!!!) many an alcoholic beverage and was now (So what if I've got a fetish for big words) table dancing (Not all of us are a walking talking breathing and may I say KOOKY thesaurus!) drunkenly (Yeah, well, I have Mr Coleman for an English (Literature for all you Non-English or Australian peeps, if you deserve to be called such 'peeps') Teacher! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?!?!?!? At least I don't write essays for FUN!) (Yeah, that was weird!) (Watch out all you British folk, he's in your country at this VERY minute.) (Suckers!!!) Anyway, Dumbledore!  
  
He was having a whale of a time, champagne bottle in hand, couple empty ones on the floor, doing a strip-tease for all those empty bottles.  
  
Suffice to say that NO ONE was in the bar.  
  
Except for a VERY VERY VERY VERY drunk, and PISSED OFF, not to mention, still a little sore, Potions Master Bat Like Bastard of an Entity i.e. Professor Severus 'I Got Fucked By Remus Lupin, Yes He Is A Werewolf, And Merlin Was He Good' Snape.  
  
He was drowning, drenching, soaking, swamping, saturating, flooding, submerging, engulfing, inundating, whatevering, his 'sorrows'.  
  
He fell off his bar stool at one point (not that he noticed! Seeing as his current drink was still in hand) and looking under the bar found a tartan garter. He promptly spewed.  
  
Speaking of SPEW, in walks Hermione, looking for something to read, Ron was nowhere to be seen . . . he too had heard of 'The Hug Club'. That was yesterday.  
  
"Bar Tender! Get me a STRONG drink! Of ice tea please."  
  
"Sorry, Miss, but we only sell ALCOHOL here." He pointed to a sign above the menu! Miss Bookworm had actually not seen the sign and memorized it! She had missed reading material. And promptly burst into tears, sadness overcoming her! Oh the horror of horrors!  
  
"CAN IT GRANGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M DROWNING, DRENCHING, SOAKING, SWAMPING, SATURATING, FLOODING, SUBMERGING, ENGULFING, INUNDATING, WHATEVERING MY 'SORROWS'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What have you got to be sad about??????????????????" Yelled Snape.  
  
"I . . . (sniff) missed (sob, cry on his shoulder, scaring Snape for life!) . . . reading material!!!!!!!!!!! What am I going to do!!!!????"  
  
"SHUT THE FUCK UP, HAVE A STIFF DRINK AND GET A LIFE!!!!!!!!! BUILD A BRIDGE AND GET THE FUCK OVER IT!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Okay, but do you have a manual for building bridges? Any good one's that you can recommend?"  
  
"Didn't I say TO SHUT THE FUCK UP?"  
  
"Yes, but . . ."  
  
"SHUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Yes, Pro . . ."  
  
"GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
She finally SHUT UP!!!!!!!  
  
Dumbledore's blinding yellow boardies landed in front of Hermione, and boy did she scream!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sev grabbed her arm and fled the establishment with all speed, well the best he could in his inebriated state. Oh, fine we'll be honest, Hermione dragged him out!  
  
But so what! It was just a minor detail, so stick it where the sun don't shine!  
  
Hermione took out her wand, hey it wasn't like there was anybody around (The Hug Club) and performed a sober charm on the Professor.  
  
Nope, that didn't work. So she tried again, HEY! An improvement!  
  
Thirteen charms later, he was back to his normal greasy bat-like self.  
  
"Did you have to drag me out of my 'Sorrow', Miss Granger? I was quite happy where I was." He was not very happy with her.  
  
"You were, *happy* with the whole Full Monty Dumbledore?"  
  
"No, not really, but at least when I was drunk, I never saw it! And I would not be stuck with the images for the rest of my life if it weren't for you! I'd have been too drunk to fucking remember! Thankyou from the bottom of my heart!"  
  
"What heart?"  
  
"I beg your pardon?"  
  
"I said 'Did someone fart?' "  
  
Evil Snape Glare! "You did not!!!!!!!! I am no longer drunk and my senses are working PERFECTLY! No thanks to you! And now that you have just insulted a Professor, namely ME! I believe punishment is in order! Follow me to my room!"  
  
She couldn't resist! "Would that be your room, or Professor Lupin's?"  
  
He just kept on walking.  
  
They walked into HIS room, and he pulled out his wand and completely dirtied the bathroom. One word: Ew.  
  
Then he conjured up a toothbrush and handed it to Hermione, "Enjoy!"  
  
She took the brush and looked between it and the bathroom several times before looking at Snape, "You have got to be kidding!"  
  
"Do I look like it?"  
  
She merely scowled at him in return before stomping into the bathroom.  
  
~Eh eh eh! It's good to be me!!!~ thought Snape as Hermione slammed the bathroom door in his face, but it swung back open, hitting his face. "OW!!!"  
  
He heard Hermione laughing and grew Pissed Off again, "YOU HAVE ONE HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Lucky he couldn't see the multiple gestures that came from our Dearest Goodie-Two-Shoes Miss Hermione Granger!  
  
About half an hour later, and thoroughly BORED, he decides to go and check on his new slave. He waltzed into the bathroom to find Hermione bent over the bath.  
  
(Authors look at the bottom of the screen. HOLY SHIT! 8th Page!! Whoa!!)  
  
Though in her usual conservative attire, he could somewhat make out her hidden body.  
  
"Why do you keep your body hidden, Granger?"  
  
"WHAT???"  
  
"It's a simple question. I'll give you five points if you answer." He cooed.  
  
"Well, I prefer to cover up because . . . "  
  
Half an hour later.  
  
". . . and therefore Professor, it is clear to me that this is the best course of action."  
  
"Have you any idea of the LOAD OF BULLSHIT that you have just given me an essay on?"  
  
Hermione was rather upset about that judgement, "What do you mean 'BULLSHIT!'? That has taken me three hundred books on Women's Rights to think up!!! Not to mention all those biology textbooks! You have to know about the Human Anatomy to understand the concepts of Women's Rights and the reasons that . . ."  
  
"SHUT UP AND FINISH SCRUBBING!!!!" Boomed Snape, clearly ULTRA-BORED with Miss Granger's ramblings, "YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES TO FINISH!!!! Otherwise . . ." Snape paused thinking.  
  
"Yes, Professor?" prompted Hermione.  
  
"I dunno, I'll think something up!!!!" and he stormed out of the bathroom and back into his bedroom, tripping over the edge of the bed in the tiny room. Again he could hear Hermione laughing from the bathroom.  
  
"MAKE THAT FIVE MINUTES!!!!!!!!"  
  
If the wall was not present, and looks could kill, there would be NO Greasy Haired Bat-Like Impersonator Extraordinaire Bastard Of The Millennia Potions Master Of Hogwarts School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry Severus 'I Got Fucked By Remus Lupin, Yes He Is A Werewolf, And Merlin Was He Good' Snape.  
  
Super Snape Glare at Authors! (Authors in VERY sickly sweet voice: Careful Sevie Poo, we control what happens to you!!!) Snape: Pales immensely. (Authors; Enjoys LOOOOOOONG evil laugh!!!).  
  
Precisely five minutes later, Snape barged into the Bathroom to find that Hermione was still bent over the bath, scrubbing away the grime.  
  
"It's been five minutes Granger! And you are NO where near finished!!!!! Now, you should know better that an unfinished task PISSES me OFF quite considerably." Saunters over to Hermione. "This is not acceptable." Stands VERY close to her.  
  
Backed up against the wall as far as she could go without actually going *through* the wall, was our dear Hermione, "And . . . what exactly does that mean?" she asked raggedly.  
  
"You're in trouble."  
  
Snape grabbed the front of her multiple layers of clothes and dragged her in and kissed her hard. She whimpered as he held her against the wall with his body as his hands started to stroke her side and face. Being the goodie goodie two shoes 'virgin' that she was, she 'didn't know what to do'. She awkwardly put her hands on his arms as he continued to ravage her into the wall.  
  
Snape got bored of this rather quickly, and so started to manoeuvre her back into the tiny hotel room. Luck was not with him as again they tripped on the bed, falling onto it. (E.S.P. – seriously, I going to fall asleep any minute now. Caffeine has the opposite affect on me. *yawn*). (S.N.M. – Ooooh No!!! There's NO WAY you're getting out of writing this one!!!) (E.S.P. - evil biatch!!!) (S.N.M. – Sooooo totally!!)  
  
*Yawn again*  
  
Snape moved to straddle her so he didn't completely crush her; finally he broke their kiss. "Way too much clothing." And so he began the enormous task(or quest, mission, adventure of a lifetime.) of removing her clothing. After ten minutes of continual ripping of clothes, he became impatient and reached for his wand and removing the wardrobe of clothes from their persons. "Merlin Granger, are you afraid you'll get cold in the tropics of Ibiza?"  
  
He never gave her the chance to reply/retort because he descended on her mouth again, with just as much force as before. He moaned as she let him into her mouth, conquering all he sought. Taking his time he stroked her breasts, and then down to her stomach and sides.  
  
~Okay, nuff done! Let's get this moving!~ Thought Snape impatiently. With one arm holding himself up, the other moved down between her legs and sought the entrance. In one fairly fluid movement, his finger entered her as she emitted a loud gasp. "Miss Granger, are you a virgin?" he asked curiously.  
  
"YES!" she said a little too quickly.  
  
Pause . . .  
  
Snape looks up at Authors, one eyebrow raised. Yeah Sev, we agree with you about that little white lie!!  
  
Play . . .  
  
Quickly swapping his finger for his member, he looked down at Hermione, "You are not!!"  
  
"Technically not now, anyway." She gasped as he thrust all the way in.  
  
"Oh yeah? Who was it?" Snape smirked down at her.  
  
Hermione cried out suddenly as Snape thrusted into her again, "Oliver Wood!"  
  
"Really, not one of your male counterparts from the Golden Trio?"  
  
"NO!" Hermione smacked him upside the head for that comment. "One: Harry's gay. Two: Ron. . .is Ron."  
  
"Eeeeghhhhhhhh. Stop it. That's turning me off now."  
  
"Shut up and thrust!"  
  
"Demanding, aren't we!"  
  
Hermione glared. Snape moved. Hermione cried out. Snape grunted. Snape moved again. Hermione cried out, again. Snape grunted.  
  
Repeat for ten minutes.  
  
This is a recipe for what Starz n Moonz would like to thoroughly do with Legolas Greenleaf, or Orlando Bloom, either! Couldn't care which! (E.S.P - And of course, don't forget the Macca's Caramel Sundae on top!!! You should have seen her this arvo people!!! Disturbing!!!! I feel sorry for the sundae!!) But I don't!! I'd REALLY enjoy eating that off his body!! DAAAAAAAAMN THAT'S FFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEE!!!!!!! ~Goes off in Legolas daydream! (E.S.P – Yes, we are still in LotR mood. After seeing Return of the King for the fourth time at the cinemas. We are already planning the fifth.) I only pay attention to Orli! (yeah, and try to fastforward the rest of it!!!! No offence to Frodo fans, but god he's boring!) Just watch Orli's body move!!! That's me happy!!!!! For a LONG time!!! ~Returns to Legolas/Orli daydream!(returns to story!!!!) Sheepishly: Sowy!!!  
  
"You're taking your time." Hermione commented as Snape kept thrusting into her.  
  
"Its called stamina."  
  
"How long has this been building. Ten? Fifteen years??" She said, bored.  
  
Snape stopped. Snape stared at her. Snape pounded her into the bed.  
  
"Now we're getting somewhere!!!" Hermione gasped out, clutching onto Snape.  
  
"You're insufferable!" Snape panted out.  
  
"And you're a greasy git!" Hermione retorted, out of breath.  
  
"And I'm coming!" Snape groaned as he rode out his orgasm, filling her with his seed.  
  
"Took you bloody long enough. Now finish me!"  
  
"Talk about demanding!" Snape panted, trying to regain his breathing, almost collapsing on top of her.  
  
"Still waiting!!" Hermione said impatiently. Snape changed angles and thrust again. "OH GOD!! Why weren't you doing that before?"  
  
Snape shrugged and kept going. Moments later, Hermione was screaming and he felt her contracting around him, making him groan again. Finally she released her vice-like grip of him, allowing him to slump to the side of her, breathing heavily. "Happy now?" Snape asked sarcastically.  
  
"Meh! It'll do."  
  
"Good. Sleep now."  
  
***********************  
  
Night guys!!! Feel free to BLOODY WELL REVIEW!!!!!!!! Seriously people!!!!! Don't you love us anymore?? We're depressed as it is with being re- institutionalised to the bad places. (School and Tafe. – Shudders uncontrollably!!!!)  
  
Review. Please, just to keep us insane!!!!  
  
REVIEW! *REVIEW*! * R E V I E W ! * We have spoken, that is all . . .  
  
FOR NOW! *Rubs hands together, cackling mysteriously and evilly!* 


	9. Their Last Night Together

Muggle Relations  
  
Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings  
  
Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.  
  
Warning Update!!!! We have now found the Cruisers, now officially VERY happy (wink wink, nudge nudge!), not to mention the Ruski's. Mmmmmmm!!! (SNM Almost as nummy as Orli! . . . Almost being the opportune word! Ahem . . . sorry . . .) Even better is we've just had a little look at PotC DVD . . . wow, I mean wow! Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom . . . could you get any better! Again . . . sorry . . .  
  
Everyone say 'Hi' to ESP  
  
(Everyone: Hi ESP!)  
  
ESP: morning avid reviewers!!!!! I bet ur all pissed off something chronic about us not updating!!!  
  
SNM: YES! We hang our heads in shame, after all we did promise not to make you wait for such a long time before we updated.  
  
THAT'S WHY (drum roll . . . . . . . .) Dun du du dun dun dun!!!!!!  
  
This chapter is full of slashy goodness for all you fans out there (audience: aaaawwwww thanx most-fabulous-writers-ever-to-walk-this-earth!)  
  
Blushes Aw shukz! But we couldn't take all the credit without those whom inspired our collected works! There are too many to list!!!  
  
ANYWAYS! THE REVIEWS!!!!!!  
  
henriette: More H/D is on the way!  
  
bek: why thankyou kindly! We have written more!  
  
zen kitten: Ummmmm, thhhaannkssss, don't know about that 'hug' thing . . . meh! Who cares! Hugs are cool!! Hugs back!  
  
smilie:-)chick: oh believe me, more is a-cuming! (Pun intended! ;-P)  
  
Craw/Brad: we like whoever with whoever (esp when it is implied! Not necessarily graphic!). More has arrived!  
  
silent-sounds: you have received more, and WELCOME TO THE INSANE REALM THAT IS TWO DERANGED PENGUINS. Let us now tell you that there is no refunds for 'Change of Mind', you are here, you can not leave . . . MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! Sorry, haven't taken my pills this morning!  
  
HC: Duh! We like it too! That's why we write more for your convenience!  
  
Well, enough yabbering on, ON WITH THE CHAPTER OF SLASHY GOODNESS!  
  
Rating: R (duh!)  
  
Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we use them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).  
  
Chapter 9 – Their Last Night Together  
  
Luckily the sounds of music from the 'Hug Club' next door, drowned out anything resembling something erotic, and so, Harry was pretty calm for the minute. Keyword being 'MINUTE'. He had gone into the denial stage of shock, and therefore believed the morning's episode to be merely a figment of his imagination. Draco smiled at this. It worked in his favour.  
  
"Love, you alright now?" Draco looked down to the bundle in his arms.  
  
"Yeah, sure Drake. Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"That's alright then! You hungry?? Wanna get room service?" Draco smirked as Harry seemed to perk up to the idea.  
  
"Room service sounds good. What are we getting?"  
  
"I was thinking Chocolate and ice cream. Do you want to add to that order?"  
  
"Whipped cream? In a can?" Harry asked innocently, but he had a twinkle to his eye that Draco was wary of.  
  
"Canned whipped cream it is!" Draco looked down at him for a moment longer then leant over and picked up the telephone receiver and dialled zero.  
  
"Room Service. How can I help you?" a cheerful if not tired voice answered the phone.  
  
"Go pussy cat go!!!" a male voice in the background was heard to groan out, "Faster!"  
  
"Professor McGonagall? Is that you?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Ahhhh, no this is ahhhhhh. . . . . . . Sarah. Can I take your order?"  
  
"Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh...... Can we have some ice cream, chocolate and a can of whipped cream sent up please?"  
  
"MR MALFOY!!!!! Ahhh.....Sure. There'll be a five minute wait on that. But it will be brought up shortly. Is that all? Good thankyou!!! Good afternoon!!" the receiver went dead.  
  
Draco looked at the receiver in his hand in complete confusion. Shaking his head, he put it back on the bedside table and cuddled up with Harry again to await their order.  
  
Ten minutes later, a very ruffled young man knocked at their door. He looked familiar, in a strange sense, but he wore sunglasses and spoke with his head down, a hotel hat covering most of his red hair.  
  
"Your order, sir."  
  
"Ron? Draco! Who's at the door?" Harry thought he recognised the voice at the door.  
  
"Shite," the red haired man mumbled, his ears turning red too, "Ahhh, my name's, ahhh, Neville. Yeah, that's it, Neville. BYE!" the 'hotel worker' bolted down the corridor and impatiently pushed the elevator button.  
  
Draco just stared down the corridor. Shaking his head for the umpteenth time that day, he closed the door, "Here we go, baby. Chocolate," he held up the items in turn, "and the Ice cream. And as you requested, one can of Whipped cream," Draco smirked as he jumped onto the bed with Harry and the food items and proceeded to kiss Harry into the bed. Harry opened the blankets he'd been thoroughly wrapped up in and Draco jumped into the warmth provided by the Boy Who Lived.  
  
"Who's being a naughty boy!" Draco mock glared as he rubbed himself against the now naked Harry Potter, "You were planning this, weren't you."  
  
"And you weren't?" Harry rolled them over so that he was on top and proceeded to strip him. Straddling the blonde, he took control of the situation to leave Draco panting at Harry's ministrations.  
  
Suddenly Draco heard a sound he wasn't familiar with. Opening his eyes he saw Harry with the can in hand, "Close your eyes, Drake." Harry smirked as he kissed him again.  
  
"FUCK Harry, that's bloody cold," Draco's muffled yell echoed in the room as he felt something being sprayed onto his chest.  
  
"Well, its best when it's cold," Harry's voice answered.  
  
Draco giggled. But that was something Malfoy's did NOT do. Lucky daddy dear wasn't there. He was going the right way for a smacked bottom. Not that Harry would mind taking over that responsibility.  
  
And take over he did, as he started to lick the cream off him, paying extra attention to his nipples. Draco moaned as his hands made their way into Harry's hair, holding the Raven Haired man's head to his chest in the hopes of prolonging the sensations that the Gryffindor was evoking.  
  
Once he'd cleaned the blonde's chest, he moved back up to languidly kiss Draco, allowing him to taste the cream. Draco continued to moan as Harry drew back and filled Draco's mouth with the cream, before leaving a trail of the whipped cream across his chest, down his stomach, in and around his belly button and down to his groin.  
  
Putting the can aside, Harry again made his way around Draco's body as he cleaned all the cream off him. Draco shivered as the cold whipped cream was slowly removed by Harry's oh so warm mouth and tongue. The blonde whimpered as the torture built, Harry avoiding the one place he wanted to be 'cleaned' of the whipped cream.  
  
He was straining off the bed when Harry finally took a small lick at the cream off his cock. The Gryffindor had to hold his hips down so that he could continue to clean Draco, his tongue taking small swipes before his mouth full enclosed the head.  
  
"Please!" Draco gritted out, begging.  
  
Harry laughed quietly as he released the head again, and proceeded to lick Draco's cock and his balls. Draco growled as his hands clenched the blankets Harry was previously wrapped up in, chest heaving as he panted heavily.  
  
"Harry?" Draco sounded pained as he pleaded again.  
  
Harry looked up with a grin on his face, "You've got no stamina today do you," Harry leaned up and gave Draco a quick kiss to the mouth before returning to the cock and he filled his mouth. He swirled his tongue around it, already tasting a lot of pre-cum before he swallowed all of Draco, who moaned so loudly it could probably be heard next door at the 'Hug Club'.  
  
Harry sucked hard, a moan reverberating from his chest up to his throat and through Draco. The blonde only lasted seconds before he came hard down Harry's throat, tanned hands holding the pale hips down to stop Draco from bucking up too much.  
  
"Oh, Merlin, Harry," Draco groaned as he kept coming down Harry's throat. Eventually Harry had to come up for air as a bit of Draco's cum trickled down his chin. A moment later, Draco collapsed back onto the bed, thoroughly spent as he gasped for breath.  
  
"Feel better after that?" Harry panted as he straddled Draco, his hands running up and down Draco's chest, stomach and sides.  
  
Draco settled with a glare as he panted heavily, unable to talk for the moment as he collapsed back with his eyes closed. Harry giggled as placed odd kisses all over Draco's torso and neck, his hands never stopping.  
  
"That was almost painful," Draco sounded husky as he finally spoke, "But Merlin was that amazing," he smirked up at the Gryffindor.  
  
Harry smirked in victory as he claimed Draco's mouth again, instantly being granted access as his tongue entered the Slytherin's mouth. Draco pulled Harry's body closer to his own as Harry stretched out between Draco's legs; arms supporting Harry as they continued snogging passionately, and Draco held Harry's arse, grinding them together.  
  
Draco drew his knees up and wrapped his legs around Harry's waist as the dark haired man was being ground almost into Draco's arse. Moaning, Harry's hand searched out the can again and eventually he found it as he brought it between them somehow managing to spray some on Draco's tight opening as Harry slid a finger in. And still the seventh years heavily snogged as Harry continued sliding his finger in and out before adding another, then one more. Retrieving the can again, he put whipped cream at Draco's opening before ditching the can elsewhere and slowly slid into the Slytherin.  
  
They moaned loudly together as Harry set up a slow rhythm, grinding into Draco as deep as he could whilst they continuing to kiss passionately. Soon, they had to stop kissing otherwise they'd probably pass out, and so settled on panting into each other's necks and stealing random kisses. By this time their bodies were slick with sweat from the exertion as Draco clutched Harry, his nails digging into Harry's back and arse as he was drilled into the bed.  
  
"Oh. Merlin. Harry," Draco said between strokes as each time Harry pushed into him, he nearly lost all though; his eyes tightly closed in pleasure. His eyes weren't the only body part that closed tightly in pleasure. As Harry pounded into Draco, hitting that little bundle of nerves, Draco's muscles clenched around Harry's throbbing member as he was thrown into ecstasy, Harry following him right after.  
  
And end chapter!  
  
Done and Done! Don't worry, there's another chapter to go! We've already established the final sentences! Eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh eh!  
  
Here endeth our rant!  
  
Now review!  
  
You have been told!!!!!!!! 


	10. So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

**Muggle Relations**

Summary: Dumbledore has planned an excursion for the seventh years to improve Muggle/Wizard Relations. Results: Multiple Pairings

Warning: this is the result of three hours filled with pizza, coke, Orange Bacardi Breezers (sadly all that was available) and one computer.

Rating: R

Disclaimer: you'd think we own them by the way we use them, but alas we do not (much tears are shed), buuut, it doesn't stop us from having fun! (rubs hands together, cackling evilly).

A/N : we are very sorry to inform you that this is the final chapter of Muggle Relations. We know we know, we've already packed our bags to flee for our lives (ESP- as long as I have my Goodluck Care Bear, my Flash Drive and my Linkin Park CD's Discman goes without saying, I'll survive!!). And so here it is, a rather LENGTHY chapter, we present the final instalment. Be Grateful, little Anya!!!!!!!!!! (ESP - Saw Anastasia the other day. Don't worry u'll understand!!)

**Chapter 10: ????So long and thanks for all the fish?????**

It was very reluctantly that the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry packed their belongings in preparation to return to the UK.

Seamus and Dean had to extricate themselves from their room-turned-"Hug Club", and they're pretty sure that they didn't get everything. Seamus was most depressed about not regaining his chocolate flavoured lubricant. Dean had to forcibly drag him out of the room instead of continuing his search. Seamus' most predominant line of reasoning was "DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TAKES TO GET THAT STUFF IN BY OWL ORDER?????"

"Come on Seamus," Dean coaxed. Dean however was actually dragging him out of the room, leaving no room for argument.

Poor Seamus was hanging onto the room for dear life. Ten claw marks could be found all the way around the room as Seamus was being dragged out of the room while Dean was remarkably refraining from using any magic to resolve the problem.

Down a few levels of Hotel 69, Miss Granger and Professor Snape were finally returning to the land of the living. They quickly left too.

When Hermione next woke up, she was in a completely empty room. There was nothing remaining of the professor's belongings, and his side of the bed was immaculately made.

"Bastard," Hermione muttered vehemently as she rolled out of bed, dressed and returned to her own room.

Said Professor was already on a plane back to London with an interesting string of words flowing through his mind!

_Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(breathe)uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckkkkkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was good, but still . . . ffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu(another breath)uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!!!!!_

'Well, now you've done it Snape! She's probably got this crush-like obsession staring one very stupid bat-like potions master of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!'

_Oh shut up! Where the fuck did you come from anyway!?!?!?!?_

'The back of your sadistic mind!'

_Ah. Kindly tell me WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE DOING HERE!!!!!!_

'Here to torment you until whenever suits me just fine!'

_Leave me alone! I'm trying to get back to Hogwarts without little annoyances!_

'Awwwww!!! Don't talk about your latest great fuck like that!!!!'

_Shut the fuck up!!!_

'Why?'

_Because I fucking said so that's why!!! I control this mind! Not you!!!_

'I beg to differ! It's a fantastic bang-up job you've done in controlling this mind so far! And I am preparing to take over!'

Snape suddenly has a panic attack on the plane, getting strange looks from all occupants, _You wouldn't dare!!!!!!_

'Oh yes we would! Spoilin nice fish! Oh shit! Sorry, Sev, been invading Smeagol's mind before I came here, got kicked out by Gollum though. But I say, the scenery is much better from all the way up here! Anyways! I would dare to take over your mind! Mwahahahahahahahaaaa!'

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!! Get him away from me! Get him away!!!!" Snape screamed.

The flight attendants all looked at Snape, freaked out, and each one scrambled for the restraint jacket and the tranquillisers.

It took all four of them to pin Snape down enough to stick the needle in his arm. They held him down until the tranquillisers kicked in. They spent the next ten minutes trying to get the jacket securely on him.

Once the task was complete, the Purser turned to one of the crew, "Inform the captain that the psych hospital needs to meet us at the airport. Tell him that we have a live one, and that he's been temporarily sedated."

The other flight attendant nodded and could be seen rushing to the cockpit.

* * *

S.N.M: Is this the point where we tell the readers that we've gotten hold of some strong white wine?

E.S.P: nahh. Leave 'em in the dark!!!!

S.N.M: Right-o.

* * *

Anyways, back in Ibiza, the Seventh years prepared to leave. Not one word was spoken in the dismal and depressed silence.

Dean and Seamus were directing EVERYONE out of the 'Hug Club', the hotel manager staring at the door in shock at the continuing string of hordes of people coming out of the tiny room. Last to exit were Dean and Seamus and they closed the door, confirming the closure of the 'Hug Club'. They walked passed the still shocked manager and handed him the room key.

Heads bowed low, they slowly made their way to the lift. The manager's stunned gaze followed them until the elevator doors were closed. Bringing himself out of his Non-With-It state, he turned his attention to the room door. Slowly and shakily he slid the card key down the slot and opened the door.

He promptly fainted.

Nuff said.

* * *

Our not so favourite gossip duo extraordinaires, Lav and Pav, were currently packing all their bzillions and trillions of make up items. We could be here for a while. How much is it to re-book a flight after missing one???

* * *

No one had seen or heard anything of Ron Weasley since he was last spotted flying through the hotel at warp speed 10.0 (apparently that's fast).

Well, aside from that 'Neville' incident regarding Harry and Draco's interesting concoction of a Room Service order. Ahem!

* * *

Blaise. Well. At the present time, he had his arm in bandages. Apparently acid did wonders for the removal of unwanted kooties. But as for skin, muscle and ligaments . . . not so fortunate. So, understandably Blaise was rather morose.

He was slowly trudging (To trudge: The slow depressing walk of a man who has nothing. Not even the clothes on his back. – sorry. Watched Knight's Tale the other day. SNM: Mmmmm Heath Ledger! Prefer Orli, but still, NICE!!!!!!!!!!) around his room when suddenly a little poof of pink smoke and a small crack sounded in the room.

"Blaise!" a high girly voice came from the recently apparated pink shoulder fairy that looked remarkably like Draco.

Blaise realised: Drake looks good in a pink tutu, "What the fuck!?"

"Language, dear Slytherin. I have a gift for you!" the shoulder fairy presented a silver hip flask, "Take this. And use it unwisely. GO. And CAUSE CHAOS!!!!" shrill laughter filled the room until another crack sounded and 'Tutu-Draco' disappeared in another pink puff of smoke.

"Okay….." Blaise took the flask and held it up to see, "What a Mysterious Silver Flask," opening the lid he took a swig, "GREAT MORGIANA!! Nuclear Firewhiskey!!"

* * *

Back in the club that had witnessed soo much, Remus finally had the guts to see 'Anna' again.

"Hello, You!" she covered quickly. She was a shocker for remembering names.

"Hey, Anna," he said nervously as he played with a shirt cuff.

"Have a good time?" she smiled warmly as she raised her eyebrow a few times

"Ummm, bout that. Do you actually know what happened that night?"

"Of course," she continued to smile warmly as her brain kicked into overdrive, _Okay, we had this dude, and. . . . . fuck. . . . was it that red head?? . . . no, that was last night. Ahhhhh, greasy haired dude. Now what happened: drink drink drink, go to his room. Greasy haired on bottom, me on top. And him behind me!!! Damn I'm good! Now what was next._

"Did I actually, ya know….."

"What dearie?" she started playing with his hair.

"The other guy. Did I…." he motioned with his hand.

"What?" she asked coyly as her hand trailed down to his neck.

"Oh, never mind!!" Remus turned away.

"Oh My God. You're THAT guy!!!" she said aloud and he quickly turned back.

"Pardon?"

"That was an incredible ride!!! Man. Two guys doing it was so hot!!! I'm getting all hot just thinking about it," she blushed, fanning her face with her hand.

Remus looked like he was about to cry, "No…" he moaned quietly.

"What? What's the matter?" she asked, all sincere.

"I didn't mean to! I really didn't. ANYONE but him!!!" Remus had tears rolling down his face.

"Have you thought about being gay? You seemed to really enjoy it. Not to mention you knew exactly what to do. That other guy was that loud, you would have thought he had ten guys on him. Or girls. Either way," she rubbed his arm and gave him a tissue.

"He enjoyed it?!" Remus turned a violent shade of green.

"You did too honey! Just think on that. Forget the other guy."

"How!? I see him everyday!"

"Then perhaps you should think about a repeat performance. You never know. He might be up for it!" she smirked.

Remus fainted.

* * *

Hermione had taken up a new pastime in the foyer as she vehemently paced a trail in the ground 2 foot deep. The Assistant Manager (the Manager being currently indisposed) was not happy.

"Harry, make Granger stop that. It's giving me a headache!" Draco growled softly in Harry's ear.

"JEEZ, Drake. Don't yell," Harry's head was being held up by his hands, "God my head hurts. HERM! Stop pacing. It's making us all dizzy. Not to mention headaches," Harry slumped down and put his head in Draco's lap.

"And where the fuck are all the teachers? I thought we were supposed to be leaving. Not that I'm complaining."

"Well, no one's seen McGonagall since we got here. I guess she's still on the island. Since the bra episode. And Professor Sna-"

Harry was cut off by the sudden ferocious growling and snarling of one Hermione Granger.

"Sev . . ."

Snarl and growl.

"Professor S . . ."

Snarl and growl. Suddenly she was stepping out of her 2 foot deep trench and was slowly advancing on Harry.

"Him . . ."

Snarl and growl. Shit she was coming in close.

"OK. Changing subject."

Hermione glared darkly before starting a new trench.

The assistant manager started fuming, as he disappeared to tally up the total expenses of Hogwarts' stay at Hotel 69. Not to mention damages.

Lucky the Assistant Manager didn't know about the 'Hug Club'.

Yet.

Hopefully not.

Crap.

Smile and nod.

RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE HILLS THE HILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!!!!!!! THE PLAGUE THE PLAGUE TIS A COMIN!!!!!!!!!!

Theysa in big doodoo thisa time!!! (sorry. Watched Phantom Menace too.)

And then it was in a bright flourish of bloody bright yellow floral boardies that screamed 'I'm mentally disturbed AND PROUD!', that Professor Albus Dumbledore waltzed into the room. No hint whatsoever that the night previously, he'd set a new record for the island of Ibiza and possibly a new Guinness World Record when he'd drunk the alcohol out of 7 pubs and 3 restaurants dry.

"Ahh!!! Dear children!!! How are we all this bright and lovely morning?!" he was chipper. A little too chipper. This chipperness did not go down well as everyone glared back at him.

Except for Harry. He'd fallen asleep again.

"Fantastic!!! Are we all ready for the plane trip home??"

Moans sounded from all corners of the room. Except from behind the reception desk; great woops of joy could be heard from over there.

"Has everyone returned their keys?"

"Mmmyes."

"Does everyone have all of their belongings?'

Blaise went a deep red, 'Did McGonagall have all of hers?' ringing through his head. Discretely he took out the Mysterious Silver Flask. The MSF for all who might remember. Brownie points and chappie 1 of the sequel to who first answers this question: 'Who was the previous owner of the Mysterious Silver Flask?'

"Wonderful. Now outside the bus is waiting to take us to the airport. I'm afraid Professor Sn-"

Snarl and growl!

"Miss Granger, are you alright?"

"Fine," she said tersely.

"Wonderful. Well then, as I was saying, Professor S-"

SNARL AND GROWL.

Dumbledore continued on regardless, "-nape will not be joining us for this leg of the journey. I have recently been contacted that we will be meeting him back at Hogwarts."

Suddenly things in the hotel started to quake and crack. Hermione had turned a paler white than Draco. She was beyond angry, shitty, pissed. She was livid. Suddenly there was a five metre radius around her where the students had rapidly vacated.

"Are you sure you're alright, Miss Granger?"

Hermione couldn't speak. She'd be out of the school quicker than you can say "THAT FUCKING BASTARD IS GOING TO DIE A HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEATH A THOUSAND TIMES OVER!!!! But not before I rip his . . . unfortunately enticing . . . 'package'. . . . off and SPOON FEED IT TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!"

Hermione merely nodded her head sharply once. A VERY forced smile gracing her livid features.

"Shall we be off!?" Dumbledore said merrily as he almost skipped to the door, "By the way, has anyone seen Professor McGonagall?"

"NO," the seventh years moaned out.

Except for Blaise. His was a rather high pitched, "NOPE!"

"Oh well. Perhaps we'll find her along the way," a confused expression came across his face, "Mr Zabini. Is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"NO!! Nothing. Not all. Nothing. Why would there be anything? As if I know anything. Why are you focusing on me here. I don't know EVERYTHING!!! Jeez!!! Lay off!!!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiight. We all believe that!" commented Draco.

"ARE YOU INSINUATING SOMETHING?!?" shrieked Blaise.

"Oh, no, no, no, YES!"

"What?" Harry said, deathly silent. Glare at maximum power.

"I meant NO!! NO NOTHING. Nope. Wouldn't have the slightest. Nothing at all. Why do you ask Harry, dear?" Draco was terrified as he cringed before the Boy Who Lived to Fuck Him.

"Good," Harry's glare was kept at a steady pace before his gaze turned back to Dumbledore.

Draco almost fainted in relief.

"Alright everyone!! On the bus!! NOW!! Are we missing anyone?!"

"We're missing Ron, Professor," Hermione piped up, her anger temporarily postponed.

"NO!!! I'm here!!! I'm here!!" Ron puffed as he finally joined the group of Seventh Years.

"Where have you been?" Hermione interrogated.

"PACKING!!" Ron said a little too quickly.

"But you hardly touched any of your things!" she pointed out

"How would you know?! Were you there last night?" Ron retorted.

The temperature in the room rapidly skyrocketed as all the glass in the Hotel shattered!!

"I'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!!" the Assistant Manager yelled.

Everybody in the room nodded in agreement.

The Assistant Manager closed his eyes in frustration before rectifying his error, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!!"

Hermione's glare was sent to the Reception Desk and straight at the Assistant Manager.

"EEEEPPPPP!!!"

Suddenly there was no management whatsoever in attendance of Hotel 69.

"Well then!! After all this excitement, I think its time we headed off home!! By the way Mr Weasley, have you happened to see Professor McGonagall."

"Sorry Professor. Not a thing," amazingly enough, Ron made it through the two sentences without a flaw. The same could not be said for his colouring, having turned a brilliant shade of magenta. Matched the décor rather well.

"Oh well. Come on Seventh Years. Off you chop and on to the bus."

The students quietly filed onto the bus and took their seats, followed by an even more morose Professor Lupin. Never would he forgive himself. Never. EVER. He could never lose control like that again.

Mind you, the next thing he asks, "Where's Severu-" Remus looked around the bus.

He was interrupted. Snarl and Growl.

"Oooookay."

"Joining us back at Hogwarts," Harry piped up from ahead.

The Snarls grew louder as suddenly Hermione was pounding down the bus to Harry.

"So, what have you being doing with yourself, Moony?" Harry asked quickly, and reluctantly, Hermione abated.

15 minutes later, the bus was filled with students and the motor started up. Many tears were shed as the bus pulled away. None more so than the inhabitants and tourists of Ibiza; the 'Hug Club' was no longer in operation; The Englishman was no more.

A thick blanket of sorrow settled over Ibiza. That of course was until the next incredibly horny English tourist decided to grace Ibiza with their presence. 5….4…3…2….1….. AND THEY'RE OFF!!!!

Within the hour, the Hogwarts students were on the plane back to Madrid. Everyone was still depressed as they travelled further and further away from the Party Island. It was on the beginnings of the trip home to London that everyone perked up a little, returning to some sort of state of normality.

Harry had been ever so kind enough to give Draco a little run down on the creatures of the planet, making a special focus on the creatures of the ocean. Just like the ones they were flying over right now.

Soooo, as Draco sat clutching the arms of the seat in a blind terror, Harry started moving the curtain of the window back, glancing quickly before closing it again. Repeatedly.

He looked at Draco, "There's . . . something on the wing! Some . . . thing! . . . I'm sorry, what were you saying?" (watched Ace Ventura – When Nature Calls.)

Draco just glared, before turning back to stare intently at the back of the chair in front of him, desperately trying not to think about all the creatures in the deep blue sea beneath, and what happens when things fall out of the sky.

"GO FINDING NEMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

(SNM pats ESP on shoulder for putting the 'D' in the right spot!!!) SNM- perhaps the wine wasn't such a good thing. It does strange things!! MY BUBBLES!!

ESP- Pfftt. Where would the ideas for the sequel come from then?!??!? HUH!!!! Didn't think that one through!!!! GO JACQUE!! Jacque rules!!!! "I am ashamed!"

Anyway.

Harry laughed as he turned the Television on, and his spirits perked even more at the familiar tune "The Simpson's".

Draco's eyes deviated long enough to be caught onto the colourful boxes of movement, "What the fuck?"

"Language, Young Man!" the passing flight attendant reprimanded.

"Shut up," Draco muttered as he glanced at her then back to the television.

"It's a TV. Muggle thing. It shows programs. All sorts of things. Game shows. News. Crime shows, Reality shows. This is a comedy show. Or a cartoon. About a dysfunctional family!!"

Draco's eyes widened in wonder as he watched with rapt attention. Learning more from a simple 'television program' than 5 years of muggle studies couldn't have taught.

He learned . . . Homer was an idiot, Bart was funny, Lisa was annoying, Mr Burns sounded a little too familiar.

"Excellent," Draco smirked evilly as he mimicked Mr Burns' trademark hand gesture.

Harry looked on, almost afraid at what he'd created. Then he had an idea, "Drake, is that a 80 foot squid down there?" he asked casually, never mind the fact they were flying over land.

"NO!!" Draco automatically sat rigid in his seat as he clenched the arm rests and stared determinedly into the chair in front of him.

Harry quietly laughed.

A couple of seats back, Hermione and Ron were sitting together when Seamus poked his head between the seats and Dean stuck his head over the top of Hermione's seat.

"So, Ronniekins. Get any during your minimal foray into the world of Ibiza," Dean asked, a sly smirk coming across his face.

"No," Hermione butted in.

"How do you know?" asked Ron defensively.

"If you were going to sleep with anyone, it would have been me."

"That's a tad presumptuous, 'Mione," Seamus said, bravely if not stupidly.

Hermione harrumphed as she slouched in her seat and stared moodily out the window.

Beside her, the conversation continued on regardless.

"So?!?!" Seamus prompted.

"Maybe," Ron blushed red.

"You're no fun Ron. Herm? What about you? Get any?" Dean turned to the moody Granger.

"Didn't you hear??" Blaise popped up from the seat in front of Hermione, "She got it on with Snape. That's why he's in England. Al… ready….."

Suddenly the plane suffered a severe bout of turbulence.

Automatically, Draco had his arms and what he could of his legs wrapped around Harry in a death grip, "We're gonna die. WE'RE GONNA DIE!!"

"Drake!!" Harry choked out, "I'm gonna die if you don't ease up."

Draco only held on all the more tighter. His arms did move a little, much to Harry's relief. Only to have his blood flow stopped to below his waist.

"Drake. Ease up. Come on. Or you're not going to be able to take it any more for the rest of your life with me."

This shocked Draco into a slight release and the blood flow was thankfully returned to Harry's legs.

The plane continued to rock as the Captain came over the intercom and explained it was unexpected turbulence and that it would soon pass. Hopefully.

Then Harry wised up, "OKAY!! WHO PISSED HERMIONE OFF!??!"

"I was just asking her if she got any!!" Seamus defended instantly.

Harry shook his head to the best of his ability, due to the blonde head nestled into his shoulder, "HERM!!! CAN IT!!!! HOLD YOUR ANGER FIT UNTIL WE LAND!!!"

"EXCUSE ME!!!! I'll have you know tha-" she was cut off by an unexpected Stupefy that appeared out of nowhere. Immediately the 'turbulence' died away and the plane continued its journey uneventfully.

Harry continued to willingly hold Draco. Draco wasn't complaining. It looked like he was in the clear from earlier on. He might just be getting some tonight!!!! He smirked evilly, "Excellent."

After arriving at Heathrow Airport, more portkeys were issued to groups to the Platform 9 ¾. Might as well finish off the day with a nice train ride, Dumbledore thought.

As he sent the Students on the Hogwarts Express, he stomped off to 'COLLECT' Professor-Incredibly-Lucky-To-Be-Still-Alive-And-Continuing-To-Teach-At-Hogwarts…..(not by the time I get through with him)-Snape.

* * *

After a long train journey, the Seventh Years made it onto the carriages and back up to Hogwarts.

As Harry walked through the main doors, he was unfortunately greeted by a recently returned Snape.

"Potter!"

"Yes Satan? Oh, Professor Snape! Sorry! I thought you were someone else!"

Snape: Glares, "Shut it Boy! Where is Miss Granger?"

Blaise walked in at that instant, "Funny . . . I thought she was with you!"

And que bolting of Blaise Zabini! Think blur!

"SNAPE, YOU SON-OF-A-BITCH!!!!"

Harry looked at Snape, confused, "Strange, that sound's like . . ."

Snape gulped, "Hermione . . ." he chocked out.

"YOU BASTARD!"

Not a soul moved as Hermione walked up to Snape and slapped him, sending him skidding across the floor. Now there's a mental image to laugh at!!!!!

Snape shakily stood up, "Now Hermione, there's no need for any of that . . ."

"WHAT??????" roared The Mighty Pissed Off Bushy-Haired Girl.

Snape quickly redeemed himself in front of the entire student body who had come to see what all the commotion was about. He stood up straight and tried to put on one of his most menacing and deadly glares, "We will talk about this in my office! Now MOVE Miss Granger!"

Hermione just glowered, but followed the Potions Professor, whose eye had started to twitch again. The last anybody saw as he rounded the corner was him popping two tiny white pills and chucking them down his throat.

Back in the Foyer, the rest of the Seventh Years were gathered, watching as Madame Pomfrey drilled the Headmaster into a wall, "LOOK AT THE STATE OF MY SEVENTH YEARS!!! YOU PROMISED THERE WOULD BE NO INJURIES!!!!! YOU PROMISED!!! LOOK AT MR ZABINI!!!!! YOU ALSO 'PROMISED' THAT YOU WOULD MAKE SURE THEY WERE WELL NOURISHED!!! LOOK AT MR POTTER!!!"

"Huh??? Hey!!!! Leave me alone!!"

"Ok. Bad example. BUT YOU PROMISED!!!!! LOOK AT THEM!!! THEY WERE YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!!"

"I-"

"NO! I don't want to hear your excuses!! There is nothing to be said of your treatment of these children!!" she turned away from Dumbledore in disgust, "I'll deal with you later!! Seventh Years!!! Great Hall! NOW!!!"

And so it was that at the last minute, due to the recently finished display of Madame Pomfrey verbally pounding the Great Headmaster Albus Dumbledore, Order of Merlin: First Class – Into a wall; that everyone noticed the sudden appearance of Professor McGonagall, and then a sleek black sports car tearing out of the grounds, dust riding high behind it.

Nobody moved as McGonagall entered the castle and proceeded straight through the students and into the Great Hall in her normal aloof manner.

Except for Ron; he was glaring jealously at the MALE stranger in the car.

Harry side-glanced at Ron's strangely disturbing behaviour, "Was that jealousy?" _No, no, no, no, don't want to think about that._ Harry proceeded to tear those thoughts to shreds.

Then Ron perked up next to him, "Don't ask and I won't tell."

Harry shuddered and proceeded to rip THAT image to shreds promising himself to never think of that again.

After the masses of students woke up from the shock of both incidents, they tiredly made their way into the Great Hall to be forcefully fed by an irate Medi-Witch. After which they stumbled around the castle to their beds.

Except for Harry and Draco; they made their way to an unused classroom somewhere in the dungeons and put their transfiguration skills to task as they conjured up a bed and then lit a fire.

Neither Gryffindor nor Slytherin saw the two students back at their dormitories at night again.

* * *

As for Hermione.

Well.

Two words.

Death. Glare.

Big time!!!

Severus sat nervously behind his desk facing the irate Granger.

"So," he began.

Tumbleweed goes tumbling past.

Hermione glared.

Snape started to fidget.

"Look Miss Granger, I'm sorry the way it turned ou-"

"You're sorry?"

"I'm Sorry."

"You're SORRY!?!?"

"Yes, I am!"

"YOU'RE sorry!!" Hermione stood up.

"YES!!!" Snape stood up and walked around the table, towering over her.

"YOU ARE FUCKING SORRY?!?!?!"

"YES FOR FUCKS SAKE I AM!!" He pushed her back on to the table and got rid of anything that still remained on it, coming between Hermione's legs.

And they're off and they're racing!!! Its all happening here at the MCG!!! (Melbourne Cricket Grounds – for all you non-Australian's)

And no, we're not doing another Het scene. This chapter is bloody long enough as it is. Use your imagination for crying out loud!!! Heck, we do!!!! Heck!! Why not act it out!!! No, we don't do that, though!!!! Go on!! You know that you want to.

* * *

One of the last Seventh Years still out and about was one of the students that most desired all the sleep he could muster. And so it was that we found Ronald Weasley slowly making his wake back to Gryffindor tower when he came upon one of Hogwarts most respected Professors.

Professor McGonagall had just finished her business in her classroom when she came upon Ron Weasley walking down the corridor.

Both paused in their step before staring at each other a moment.

Nothing was said.

Quickly Ron turned a brilliant shade of magenta as Professor McGonagall bristled slightly in embarrassment.

They quickly turned about face as Ron bolted down the corridor and McGonagall quickly strode back the way she came with all the dignity she could muster!!

**THE END**

* * *

First order of business: DAMN WELL BLOODY REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!

Also the end of one mother of a blow-out chapter!!!!!

Question: Do you want a sequel??!?!?!?

Be afraid. We have one planned.

BIG TIME EVIL LAUGHTER!!!! BWAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HEHEHEHE. Etc.

SNM: Well, we've returned to the computer to actually finish this lovely end note. Alas, someone stole the computer (Mutters and grumbles for a GOOD LONG WHILE!!!!) That's okay, just look at my Wallpaper, and all feels better (looks around the room innocently).

ESP – yes, we all know that is a load of CRAP!!! And it gets me very IRRITATED!!!! (sorry, listened to Monty Python Too!!!! BOW DOWN HEATHENS!!!!! Logic vs. Sex to be precise… t'was the skit!!)

SNM: BECAUSE IT IS NOT LOGICAL!!!! Besides, like lookin' at Orlando in Legolas costume gets you IRRITATED!!!! I know exactly what it gets me feeling!!!!! Yum – nuff said!

So I've got a bit of a thing for Orlando Bloom . . .

(ESP – You'd have to be pretty dense to have not realised it by this stage!!)

SNM: . . . so sue me! Who hasn't??? He's an absolute GOD that even the gods are not worthy of!!!!!! Again I say, Yum. Grins

Both authors sit twiddling their thumbs, unsure of what will come from the depths of their unchartered 'minds'

ESP – We try to refrain from thinking . . . bad things happen. Shudders

SNM: Couldn't agree more!!!! What happens when I start thinking??? I do things that I normally wouldn't EVER do . . . . . . . . . . . . goes and sits in corner, facing wall

ESP – Myself; minute migraines thanks to Lymerick the Leprechaun whom lives inside my head with a full arsenal of many, many, many tools, and pointy objects, and jack hammers, and sledge hammers, and pointy knives are a personal favourite of his!!!

SNM: Shit, 15 pages.

ESP – We've crapped on for a while.

SNM: We're kinda pro's at that, we've had LOTS of practise . . .

ESP - Shouts to England THANKYOU MR COLEMAN!!!!!

SNM: Well, you're thinking on the right train tracks there ESP, I was talking about that whole institution put together, that wonderful, wonderful place that I'm STILL at. I digress, my STUPID fault; t'was my STUPID decision to go back there . . . (continues for a GOOD LONG WHILE!)

Hmmm, ESP wants the keyboard . . . should I be The Bitch that Satan Worships, or not? These are the questions we ask ourselves.

Meanwhile, ESP has STOLEN the keyboard from SNM! And they're off and they're fighting!!!! Oh My God!!!! Did you see that???? Is that a legal move?????? Eventually, SNM gets board and surrenders the keyboard . . .

ESP – HEY!!!!! I'm just trying to defend myself against the Leprechaun!!! I was soooooo not thinking back there!!!!! You said I was SNM!!!! You lie!!!!!!

SNM: DUH!!! Satan worships ME, remember, it's my job to lie!!!!! Pokes tongue out

ESP – And the sun shines out ur arse too!!!!!!

SNM: So you've finally noticed??? Now tell me the logic underlying the conclusion that you require the use of glasses??????? HOO-AHH!! STEEEEEEEEERIKE 1!!!!!!

ESP – DUH!!!!!!! READ TOO MUCH IN SUMMER HOLIDAYS OF YEAR 9!!!!! Remember????

SNM: Yeah, good point. After-all, it was I that got you into this whole thing . . . MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! And it has consumed you!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! My work here is done . . . now for the next unsuspecting soul!!!!!!!!!!! Grins evilly as she yells at ESP to be PATIENT!

ESP – FOUR WORDS: Swing. Swing. Swing. BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SNM: Glares darkly Well, I suppose you are allowed ONE bit of redemption, even if it was one of the most embarrassing days of my life; key word there being ONE!!!!! Only One!!!! Do I remember any others . . . thankfully not . . . although, one of my daily fortunes said that 'One day those photos will get out.' This is where I turn around, rather petrified, scream in a VERY high-pitched voice "Which photos????", find said photos, burn all traces of them and move to Mexico . . . popular place for all the fugitives I hear. Might find Chris, or even Carly there . . . ahem.

ESP – That's it!!!! Leave ESP to deal with all the aftermath CRAP!!!

SNM: Naturally.

ESP – Wait . . . am I in any of those???????????

SNM: T'is a possibility. I don't know what you get up to when I'm not around to influence you . . . Chapter 9, of which you wrote on your own, is proof enough! STEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRIKE 2!!!! I'm on a roll here!!!!!!! Bring it on!!!!!!!!!

ESP – How does Larissa sounds for a new name???

SNM: Larissa huh? And where exactly does THAT come from????? Emotional Malfoy ring any bells!!!!

ESP – That was the first name I could think of.

SNM: That'll be STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRIKE 3!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Damn I'm good!!!!!!!!! Mind you, I was kinda thinking along the lines of 'Elloriel' for a new name, cough, cough!!! Definitely wouldn't be complaining!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ESP – Um, Gee, wonder why?

SNM: So, how many readers do you think have stuck with this end note this far?? Do you thing that we've crapped on enough?

ESP – I'd say there is a slim to none chance of anyone reading beyond the term THE END!. But yes, I do believe we have crapped on enough, let alone the fact you told me "take over the keyboard" and are now itching for it back……

SNM: You noticed that did you? Anyway, to all who ARE STILL reading . . . this is the point where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?

ESP – READY!!!

BOTH: AAA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!! (Go George of Jungle!)

ESP – btw, I did not watch that movie the other day.

SNM: That's good to know . . .

ESP - Shrugs Kept our running commentary so far.

SNM: We need to see LotR: RotK again . . . t'is still playing down at Marion!!!!! I can't WAIT for the Extended Release . . . more of Legolas!!!! Unseen footage!!!!! Disappears into Dream, never to be seen again

ESP – now that she's finally off in La La land, I think its time I wrapped this up!!!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, sickly sweet voice not to mention all those who are GOING TO REVIEW!!!!!! Aren't you!!! holds riffle up

Sooo!!! Next order of business!!!! We've decided on a Sequel!!!! Its going to be another Muggle Studies Excursion. Except this time They're heading our way!!! To sunny ol' Australia!!!! This is based on a true story. It happened to a friend of a friend of a friend of mine. Actually no. It happened to me. I tell a lie. "I am ashamed!!"

Soooo. Yeah. Little teaser for you!!!

Keep in mind that there is no magic on "camp". Think of poor Draco. And think of his pooor hair!!!!!! Stubborn refusals insure!!!!

Toodles!!!!!!

REVIEW DAMN YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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